


Strong Sad Emails

by FailureArtist



Category: Homestar Runner
Genre: Canon Style, Email Show, From 2005, Gen, Imported, old shame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 18:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 22,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7694896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Deep from his dark room</i><br/>The youngest of the Strong clan<br/>Sad answers emails.<br/> </p><p>My fan email show from 2005, back when I went under the name "Hysterical Woman". The original is <a href="http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Old">here</a>. I'm reposting it on this site as protection. Unedited and unaltered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blue Thing

**Author's Note:**

> I made some jokes that aren't appropriate for Homestar Runner. There will be warnings at the top of every chapter.

##  Summary 

 

 

Dig your grave!

Strong Sad escapes from the Planet of the...what the heck is that?

**Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Sterrance, Strong Bad, Missy Palmer, Marzipan(easter egg)

 

##  Transcript

**STRONG SAD:** _{singing softly}_ Fingertips....on my keyboard...

> Strong Sad,  
>  Aren't you that guy who hit me in the eye?  
>  Thanks,  
>  John

**STRONG SAD:** _{begins typing}_ Dear John... _{jumps out of chair}_ What's that blue thing doing here!

**STRONG BAD:** That's just Sterrance. He's going to be staying in your room. _{holds out fist}_ You got a problem with that?

**STRONG SAD:** Yes!

**STRONG BAD:** Too bad!

_{Strong Bad punches him in the gut and leaves. Sterrance sniffs him and then starts chewing on his sheets. Strong Sad gets back on the computer.}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{typing, angry}_ That's it! Consider this a "Dear John" letter! I'm going to ask for resignation, going to speak to the man in charge!

_{Picks up phone and dials number, slowly, because it's a rotary phone}_

**STRONG SAD:** Can I speak with the Brothers Chap?

**MISSY PALMER:** _{on phone}_ Sorry, they're in another land, would you like to speak with the hotel dectective instead?

**STRONG SAD:** No thanks, I'll call back later. _{pause}_ You sound familar.

**MISSY PALMER:** _{on phone}_ Yeah, I get that a lot. Have a nice day.

_{Strong Sad hangs up phone. Sterrance has made a mess of his room}_

**STRONG SAD:** I can't wait for them. I'm leaving!

_{Next scene: Strong Sad is in a space capsule}_

**STRONG SAD:** I feel old and foolish now.

**LION:** _{in Russian}_ <Dig your grave!>

_{End of transmission}_

 

##  Easter Eggs 

  * Press the words "resignation" for this scene:



_{Marzipan, as an angel, hovers in the air}_  
**MARZIPAN:** When you're falling for an angel doesn't mean you have to throw your body off a building.  
_{Widen shot to show Strong Sad falling}_  
**STRONG SAD:** I just know they're talking about me on a pinhead.

  * Press the lion on the end to hear this.



**HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Is that enough TMBG for you?

 

##  Fun Facts 

  * This email is choked full of "They Might Be Giants" references. Try to find them all.




	2. Biography

## 

##  Summary 

Strong Sad talks about writing and alienates the audience.

**Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Strong Bad

##  Transcript 

**STRONG SAD:** Good bye, Blue Monday.

_{Strong Sad opens up his email}_

> Strong Sad,  
> Have you ever written a book?  
> You know, like, a biography?  
> Color Printer

**STRONG SAD:** _{typing}_ Color printer? I used to have one of those, but then Strong Bad took it and used it for his fake college game. Poor printy. At least it bet the spread. Anyway, about my writing...

_{Goes over to old file cabinet with the word "Boring stuff" writing in calligraphy on it. Opens drawer and takes out a pad of lined paper with crayons}_

**STRONG SAD:** This was my first novel, written when I was in 2nd grade. It's unfinished because the teacher took it away because it was suposed to be "Sit In The Dark Quietly" Hour. It was about an elephant named Humperton who must save his country from nuclear war.

_{Pulls out a school notebook with a picture of a 90's Christina Ricchi on it}_

**STRONG SAD:** In middle school I wrote about vampires. Mostly they killed my classmates horribly.

_{pulls out a professional typed document}_

**STRONG SAD:** Now I work as a freelance writer. I mostly write stories about people turning into cockroaches. My stuff gets picked up by an...um, adult publisher, so I use a pen name. I've never had the courage to see what they do with them. I once got a fan letter from Coach Z. Couldn't look him in the face for a week after that.

_{Pulls out a notebook with a picture of Squee on it}_

**STRONG SAD:** You asked about a biography, right? I'm working on my autobiography right now. I'll read it to you. _{starts reading}_ "Call me a fertilized zygote. My cells have divided in two. These cells divide in two. The cells that have divided divide again. The cells that have..."

_{Strong Bad pops in}_

**STRONG BAD:** This is why I answer the emails around here. _{leaves}_

_{The End}_

 

##  Easter Eggs 

  * If you wait, you get this short.



    _{Computer makes a sound}_
     **STRONG SAD:** _{reading}_ "...It is warm but dark..."{stops reading} Oh, I got another email.

    _{Strong Sad brings up the email}_
    
    
    hello,
    your the best writter evar.
    you should be president.

     **STRONG SAD:** Why must people torment me? Deleted.

  * Click on the file cabinet for this:



    _{animated crayon drawing of an elephant in a wheelchair}_

     **ELEPHANT:** Peanuts vill be grown and smushed!

 

##  Fun Facts 

 

###  Explanations

  * Strong Sad's line in the beginning, his writing career, and the email at the end are references to the Kurt Vonnegut Jr. novel "Breakfast of Champions".
  * Strong Sad's early writing career is semi-autobiographical. I tried writing novels when I was young. When I was in sixth grade I started writing one about my adventures in a land I found in my closet where anthropormorphic mice wage war. In high school I started writing a story about a young clean-cut guy who gets entangled with a beautiful vampire he meets in a vampire bar. I quit writing around my senior year but now I'm back, writing too much.
  * The elephant Easter Egg is a reference to the movie "Dr. Strangelove".




	3. anime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentioned incest.

## 

##  Summary 

Strong Sad imagines himself in an anime. Get out the tissues. No, it's not like that, hentai.

 **Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Sturongu Saduu, Saduu's Sister, Saint Bad, Anime Homsar, Homestar Runner, Pom-Pom, Not McCarthy (easter egg), Anime Modestly Hot Homsar (easter egg)

 

##  Transcript 

**STRONG SAD:** _{singing}_ I'm sitting here in the boring room... _{brings up_

> Dear Strong Sad,  
>  What would you look like as a Japenese Cartoon  
>  and what would it be about?  
>  Please answer this!  
>  -Mitchell Smith, Australia

**STRONG SAD:** _{reads it aloud}_ Japen? What is Japen? _{picks up dictionary and looks through it}_ Do you mean a city in southern Spain north-northwest of Granada know for lead mining with a population of 104,892?

_{A picture of a postcard from Jaen pops up. It has a donkey saying "Ask about our lead!" in Spanish.}_

**STRONG SAD:** Or maybe a sleeveless jacket worn over the armor in the 14th century?

_{Same picture, but now the donkey is wearing a japon}_

**STRONG SAD:** No wait, you probably mean the archipelago between the Sea of China and the North Pacific Ocean, east of the Korean peninsula.

_{Postcard of Japan, with the donkey from before dressed like a sumo wrestler}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{typing}_ I'm...familiar with Japanese animation. But I'm not an otaku like some fanfics portray me as, nor have I ever tried to kill everyone. Now, let me imagine...

_{cut to a white screen with Strong Sad standing there. As he describes how he would look different, the changes are applied}_

**STRONG SAD:** I would look more like a human, and less like an...elephant thing. _{becomes more human, with a sakura branch over the naughty bits}_ I wear an outfit that looks all great on me but when you try wearing it at a convention you look terrible. _{Nice crisp black and white outfit appears on him}_ I would have hair that always looks like it was just tossled. _{Light blue hair appears}_ I would be pale _{turns to pale-faced geek}_ , but a sexy pale of course _{turns back to pretty boy}_. My eyes would be bigger, but not too big because I'm a guy. I'd have a really deep voice, but they'll ruin that in the dubbing and I'll sound like Tim Curry. And then, put me in Tokyo...

_{cut to anime Strong Sad (Sturongu Saduu) in futuristic Tokyo at night.}_

**STURONGU SADUU:** I am so sad. _{unnessasary close-up}_ So sad...

_{A girl who looks a awful lot like 20X6 Marzipan shows up in a school girl outfit}_

**SADUU'S SISTER:** You love...me. I love...you. But we are sister and brother! Technically. But we are family! Family since our parents had a marriage together!

 **STURONGU SADUU:** Love. Sadness. _{destroys city block}_

_{Cut to a picture of an angel}_

**STRONG SAD:** And there would be angels...but they would be bad for some reason.

_{Angel turns into something that looks a lot like Strong Bad}_

**SAINT BAD:** God hates you! Satan loves you! Up is down, black is white! Yatta!

 **STURONGU SADUU:** You killed my father! Who I hate because he ran away from me to build giant robots!

_{Homsar (with big gravity defying hair and white robes) wobbles on}_

**STRONG SAD:** And there would be one character who is supposed to be all wise but makes no sense.

 **ANIME HOMSAR:** I am the me that live in you!

_{Cut to Homestar and Pom-Pom in front of a television}_

**STRONG SAD:** And if you missed one episode, you would have no idea what's going on.

 **HOMESTAR:** What just happened?

 **POM-POM:** _{bubbles}_

 **HOMESTAR:** The universe did what?

_{cut back to the computer}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{typing}_ Actually, you were probably not talking about anime and I just made a fool of myself. Again. _{stops typing}_ Where did I leave my katana?

_{The End}_

 

##  Easter Eggs 

  * Click "anime" for this short:



    _{Black and white footage of Strong Sad at congressional hearing}_
     **NOT McCARTHY:** Have you or have you ever been a member of the Otaku community?
     **STRONG SAD:** Does Teen Titans count?

  * Click on "fool" for Homestar Runner charaters as various anime charaters.
  * Click...somewhere...for this new Easter Egg I thought up:



    _{Sturongu Saduu sits in front of a box labeled "Girlfriend", smiling like mad}_
     **STRONG SAD:** And I'd get some magical girlfriend...
    _{Box opens to reveil Modestly Hot Homsar}_
     **STRONG SAD:** But she'd be crazy and get me into trouble.
    _{Sturongu Saduu frowns. MHH destroys everything.}_

 

##  Fun Facts 

###  H*R References

  * A long time after this was written, the short [TrogdorCon '97](http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/TrogdorCon_%2797) reveiled that Strong Sad likes anime. So perhaps he is an otaku.



###  Real Life References

  * Strong Sad's first line is from the song "Lemon Tree" by Fool's Garden. I heard it in this huge anime music video complation and I don't know if it was ever in any anime. It does seem to be popular among otakus.
  * When Strong Sad says he isn't an otaku or a murderer, he's refering to my fanfiction. Yeah, I'm shameless.
  * The anime Strong Sad thinks of is mostly a parody of Angel Santurary, with some Neon Geneis Evangelion wrapped in.
  * The easter egg refers to the Communist trials of the 50s. Senator McCarthy of Wisconsin claimed that the State Department was overrunned with communists. People were asked if they were or had ever been a member of the Communist Party.
  * Teen Titans is an American cartoon with heavy Japanese influences/ripoffs.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update for 2016: The Teen Titans reference is for the original series.


	4. Time Travel

## 

##  Summary 

Strong Sad goes back in time and Hysterical Woman shamelessly plugs another fanfic when she should be working on her current fanfic.

 **Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Strong Grand, Young Woman, Strong Bad, Hysterical Woman (easter egg), Tomiko the Muse (easter egg), The Strong Bad (easter egg), The Sneak (easter egg)

 

##  Transcript 

**STRONG SAD:** I’m simultaneously honored and insulted by your email. _{opens email}_

> Dear Strong Sad,  
> Why don't you check through Strong Bad's  
> Computer. So, You can find a file  
> called "timetravel.exe" and  
> go back in time to change something.  
> Maybe make Strong Bad and Others nicer to you.  
> You could go back in time and  
> Punch Strong Bad in the face.  
>   
> -Mitchell Smith, Australia

**STRONG SAD:** _{typing}_ Another email from Mitchell Smith. Glad I have one friend...ly acquaintance. Actually, you'd probably hate me if you meet me. Such is my life.

_{gets up}_

**STRONG SAD:** So, my older brother has realized time travel. He must be an idiot savant. I'll go sneak on to his computer. _{pauses}_ What does my computer look like anyway?

_{Strong Sad's computer turns into an Amiga}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{sighs}_ It figures.

_{Cut to Strong Bad's computer room. Strong Sad sneeks in and types on the keyboard quickly}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{typing}_ timetravel.exe...

{The screen shows this:}
    
    
    Weclome to the Dirac Sea! Chose your option:
    1. Set Time
    2. Set Place
    3. Go Back in Time
    5. Chicken Out

_{Strong Sad sets everything up}_

**STRONG SAD:** Here I go. _{presses spacebar}_

_{Cut to an oceanliner, circa 1920. A handsome Japanese man with a Dali-esque moustache and flamboyant western-style clothes leans on the rail. Strong Sad falls onto a pile of sandbags.}_

**STRONG SAD:** Oof!

 **JAPANESE MAN:** _{slight accent}_ Odd way to sneak on board.

 **STRONG SAD:** _{points to him}_ You're Strong Grand!

 **JAPANESE MAN:** That's not my name...yet. I like the sound of it, though. Good translatation of my Japanese name. Maybe I will use it.

 **STRONG SAD:** _{aside}_ I just met my Great-Grandfather Strong Grand! He started this naming scheme in the family. Nobody has ever found out his Japanese name, and he took it to the grave with him. I'll ask him now.

 **STRONG GRAND:** I'm not telling you.

 **STRONG SAD:** Huh?

 **STRONG GRAND:** I heard you talking. This isn't The Theatre. I'm not telling some crazy elephant boy that falls from the sky.

 **STRONG SAD:** Insulted by my own ancestors! I'm so ashamed. _{starts crying}_ I'll end it all now!

_{Strong Sad pushes Strong Grand overboard}_

**STRONG SAD:** End program. _{fades away}_

_{A young woman runs over with a lifesaver}_

**YOUNG WOMAN:** I'll save you, you handsome man I want to marry and have oddly named kids with!

_{cut to present times. Strong Bad is sitting at the computer when Strong Sad materializes}_

**STRONG SAD:** I still exist?

 **STRONG BAD:** _{not turning around}_ Unfortunately so, dumpus.

 **STRONG SAD:** What happened to Strong Grand?

 **STRONG BAD:** He died when we were kids, moron.

 **STRONG SAD:** No, what happened on the oceanliner to America?

 **STRONG BAD:** He says he meet his future wife. Also, he says he fought the leviathan. Crazy old man.

 **STRONG SAD:** _{aside}_ So Novikov is right...if an event exists that could give rise to a paradox, then the probability of that event happening is zero! It's all so obvious! _{starts laughing}_ Oh-ho-ho-ho!

 **STRONG BAD:** You have one creepy laugh.

_{end program}_

 

##  Easter Eggs 

  * click on Strong Sad at the end to hear this segment:



     **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{anime villianess}_ Oh-ho-ho-ho!
     **TOMIKO THE MUSE:** Stop that!

  * Click on Strong Bad to see this scene:



     **THE STRONG BAD:** I bet you envisioned that I would be featured in this ancedote, but you prophesized wrong!
     **THE SNEAK:** _{wiggles noses}_
     **THE STRONG BAD:** Oh drat, you're right! I've perjuried myself again.

 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Real Life References

  * "The Dirac Sea Time Travel Program" refers to the science fiction short story "Ripples in the Dirac Sea" by Geoffrey A. Landis. I read this story a million years ago and barely remembered the title. Thanks to wikipedia for the information.
  * Strong Grand is Strong Dad's paternal grandfather in my upcoming fanfic, "Shoebox of Memories". Yes, Chapter 5 of "Weirdoes in Paradise" will be up soon.
  * Dr. Igor Dmitrevch Novikov is a Russian theoretical astrophysicist who formulated the Novikov self-consistency principle, which goes as Strong Sad stated. Thanks again to wikipedia.
  * Tomiko the Muse is my little sister. We worked on Stinkoman together. Yes, I can do a pretty good anime villianess laugh.



###  H*R References

  * Strong Sad's first line is a paraphase of his line in [impression](http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/impression).




	5. The longest email

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A two-parter

## 

##  Summary 

Strong Sad travels far and wide to answer your emails. He's kinda lonely, you know? A two-part special

 **Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Strong Bad (off-screen only), Strong Mad, Sakya Thukpa, Byams-Pa, Moe, Announcer, Modestly Hot Homsar, Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Mrs. Benedetto, Frank Benedetto

##  Transcript 

**STRONG SAD:** _{singing}_ I don't need an education, I learned all I need from email. _{opens email}_
    
    
    hey strong sad my brother from another mother! 
    y do u put up wif strong bad?
    i mean like im all down wif da yoga and stuff but come on i could kick strong bad's butt and im a girl! any ways i think u and ur bro strong mad r cool and strong bad is just sooooooooooo  boring wif the "i talk like this and i never take my mask or   boxing gloves off!"
    any way nice e-mailin ya and dont 4get 2 kick strong bad's butt! 
    
    courtney smith (mitchell's sister), australia
    

_{The sentences in this email literally run off the side of the screen. Strong Sad looks to the right in awe.}_

**STRONG SAD:** I think this may be...the longest email.

_{Thunder bolt in background}_

**STRONG SAD:** But I will do anything for my meager fans...not calling you guys meager, I'm just saying there's not a lot of you. But, anyway, I will go travel to the ends of the Earth to see the end of this email. _{picks up backpack}_ I must only pack what is important to survive. _{he packs up a backpack with baking chocolate and underwear}_

_{Cut to the front yard of La Casa de Strong. Strong Sad waves to the unseen residence}_

**STRONG SAD:** Goodbye, my warm home! Goodbye, my loving family!

 **STRONG BAD:** _{off-screen}_ Just leave already, you drama queen!

 **STRONG MAD:** _{off-screen}_ I GET HIS ROOM!

 **STRONG SAD:** _{voice-over}_ So ended my childhood...

_{cut to a Tibetan mountain village. Strong Sad talks with three sherpas}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{voice-over}_ I hired for my journey three sherpas: Sakya Thukpa, Byams-pa,and Moe.

 **SAKYA THUKPA:** _{New Jeresyian accent}_ Sure we'll take ya up da mountain, right boys? _{they nod}_

_{Cut to a path through a bamboo forest. Strong Sad carries a huge backpack.}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{voice-over}_ I learned much from these simple, honest men.

 **STRONG SAD:** _{winded}_ Aren't...huff...you guys supposed to carry the supplies?

 **SAKYA THUKPA:** What, when were already helping you up the mountain? Show some respect! Now go faster!

_{Cut to a tent. Strong Sad and the sherpas sit with an old woman}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{voice-over}_ They taught me their customs.

 **SAKYA THUKPA:** Come on, she digs ya! If you say no she'll kick us out of the tent. _{sherpas snicker}_

 **STRONG SAD:** All right. _{leans over to kiss the very surprised old woman}_

_{Cut to a snowstorm. Strong Sad is shivering as he walks slowly up the mountain}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{voice-over}_ They helped me survive the bitter cold.

 **SAKYA THUKPA:** What a beautiful day. Don't see this much in Tibet.

 **STRONG SAD:** B-b-beautiful... _{passes out}_

_{cut to a mountain top. Across the sky you can see the end of the email. Strong Sad slowly climbs up the mountain with the sherpas behind him.}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{voice-over}_ Finally, I reached my goal.

_{Strong Sad takes a minute to get his wind, then look at the email.}_

**STRONG SAD:** I made it! I survived this arduous task! Now I can go home and answer her email.

 **SAKYA THUKPA:** _{to the others, in Tibetan, with subtitles}_ Tonight we kill him.

_To be continued..._

 

##  Summary 

Strong Sad travels far and wide to answer your emails. Please refer to the [first part](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/The_longest_email) if you have just stumbled upon this page.

_ _

##  Transcript 

_{The logo of Strong Sad Emails: Strong Sad's head with the words "Strong Sad Email" in fancy handwritting above. Below it says "Now more obscure than ever!"}_

**ANNOUNCER:** Last time, on Strong Sad Email...

_{Cut to Modestly Hot Homsar standing on a pedestal with a banner drapped around her}_

**ANNOUNCER:** Homsar wins the Miss Free Country Beauty Pagnent, but not without complaints of foul play...

 **MARZIPAN:** She was the only one in the competition!

_{Cut to Marzipan's kitchen. Homestar is standing next to the microwave.}_

**ANNOUNCER:** Things heat up in the Benedetto family.

_{A silleuto of Frank Benedetto appears}_

**HOMESTAR:** Frank! It's not what it looks like! Noooo!

_{Cut to Strong Sad on the mountain}_

**ANNOUNCER:** Oh, and Strong Sad's going to get killed by his sherpas.

 **STRONG SAD:** What? _{bravely}_ I have to stop that.

_{Strong Sad kneels before the sherpas with his hands clasped}_

**STRONG SAD:** Oh please don't kill I'll give you money just take me home!

 **SAKYA THUKPA:** Okay, we won't, just hand over the money. _{he does}_ We admire your cowardice and gullibility, so we'll grant you a favor. And we'll stop spitting in your yak's blood.

 **STRONG SAD:** I've been drinking yak's blood?

_{Cut to Strong Sad's room, with Strong Mad jumping on the remains of the bed}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{voice-over}_ So I came home a wiser man, filled with hope and yak's blood.

_{Strong Sad enters the room}_

**STRONG MAD:** MY ROOM!

 **STRONG SAD:** Sherpas?

_{A dart flys into Strong Mad and he falls down. The sherpas enter and take his body}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{worried}_ He's just asleep, right?

 **SAKYA THUKPA:** Yeah, you believe that.

_{The sherpas leave. Strong Sad sits down at his computer}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{typing}_ Dear Courtney, I am doing fine. Thank you for writing. Love, Strong Sad. _{stops typing and turns to us}_ So until next time...

 **STRONG BAD:** _{off-screen}_ AHHHHHHHH!!!

_{The End}_

##  Easter Eggs 

  * Click anywhere on the screen for this message:



    No Strong Mads were harmed in the making of this email. Can't say the same for Strong Sad.

##  Fun Facts

###  Explanations

  * Strong Sad's song in the beginning refers to the song "Medication" by Garbage.
  * The first two sherpas are named after the historical Buddha (Shakyamuni) and the future Buddha (Maiterya). The last sherpa is from the Three Stooges.



###  Trivia

  * I refer to Garbage in the first line. A member of Garbage, Butch Vig, produced an album for Nirvana. Nirvana is the final goal for Buddhists. The sherpas in my story are named after Buddhas. Look, I connect this email with this email! Wow!




	6. The shortest email

## 

##  Summary 

Strong Sad blah blah blah...

 **Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, The Cheat

##  Transcript 

**STRONG SAD:** Hmmmm... _{opens email}_

 

> ert+  
>  y76p; '0lu8jkyee;u4p;e'/Rh  
>  Strong sa15456 `-------++++++gf  
>  +++++-//==========/*8901ikg

**STRONG SAD:** _{presses button}_ Deleted.

_{A long pause. Strong Sad looks over at us.}_

**STRONG SAD:** You're still here? Dang, I don't feel like answering any more emails. How about I explain the Thirty Year War? The Thirty Year War began with the defenestration of Prague, when...

_{While Strong Sad is occupied, the camera moves out of the room and into the hallway.)_

**STRONG BAD:** _{offscreen}_ Okay guys, this is the big one. We've got to be prepared for tonight. They won't know what hit them!

_{The camera moves into room where Strong Bad is talking}_

**STRONG BAD:** From the top! _{singing}_ Three little maids from school are we...

_{Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and the Cheat are wearing girls' kimonos and holding parasols as they dance. The camera bares a hasty retreat to Strong Sad's room.}_

**STRONG SAD:**...And the treaty of Westphalia continues to be ignored up to this day.

_{The End}_

##  Fun 

###  Explanations

  * The title is self-evident, but also refers to [the longest email](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=the_longest_email&action=edit&redlink=1).
  * The Thirty Year War was a conflict fought between the years 1618 and 1648 in central Europe.
  * The song Strong Bad has his cronies perform is from _The Mikado_ , a comic operetta by Gilbert and Sullivan.



###  Trivia

  * Yes, this email was originally shorter, but I had to lenghten it to at least ten lines.




	7. torture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing objectionable despite the title

## 

##  Summary 

Strong Sad takes his revengeful vengence. Guestwritten by Tomiko the Muse, my sister.

**Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, The Cheat, Strong Bad , DJ from Full House (easter egg), Brian Wilson (easter egg), Announcer

 

##  Transcript 

**STRONG SAD:** Checking my e-mails...nothing else to do. _{sigh}_

> Dear Strong Sad,
> 
> I hope we are good friends. Why don't you  
> get revenge on Strong Bad on the e-mail  
> named "radio" for changing your voice.  
> You could somehow change he's voice  
> into something that he hates.
> 
> Bowing to you,  
> Mitchell, Australia

**STRONG SAD:** Hey! Someone likes me! _{is loved}_

**THE CHEAT:** _{squeaks}_ {Translation: It's probably some ugly doofus who's a crazy fanboy.} _{walks off}_

**STRONG SAD:** Mitch, my friend, I have considered vengence. But maybe not in the form you have considered. _{walks into Strong Bad's room}_

**STRONG BAD:** Hey, dumpus! What are you doing in my room?

**STRONG SAD:** Well... _{takes out a remote, then points it at Lappy}_

**LAPPY:** SPUTTERSPARKCOOCOOKUCHOOIAMTHEWALRUS _{video from Full House}_

**STRONG BAD:** NO! WHAT DID YOU DO TO LAPPY?

**STRONG SAD:** I programed it to only show Full House now. That's what you get for making me talk like that!

**STRONG BAD:** Butter for brains, if you don't fix it, you're not getting out of the bathtub this time!

**STRONG SAD:** I can't! You need a h4x0r for that!

**THE CHEAT:** _{smiles} {golden tooth shimmer}_

**STRONG BAD:** The Cheat! You gotta help me! Dorky killed Lappy! It only shows Full House now!

**THE CHEAT:** _{squeaks}_ [Translation: What do you mean! What's wrong with Full House?] _{bears fang} {clings to Strong Bad's neck}_

**STRONG BAD:** AAAAAAAH! THE CHEAT! _{runs screaming}_

**STRONG SAD:** Hey, that worked out better than I thought! And Mitch, please stop stalking the fair [or not] people of Free Country.

 

##  Easter Eggs 

  * Click on Full House picture:



     **DJ:** Oh my god! It's the Beach Boys!
     **Brian Wilson:** Ack. I'm going back to bed.

  * Click on The Cheat:



**Announcer:** It's the new Cheat Commandos Action Figure, Fang The Cheat! Blood drawing action! Real fangs! Sink his teeth in to your friends TODAY! "Buy all our playsets and toys!"

 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanation

  * _Lappy: SPUTTERSPARKCOOCOOKUCHOOIAMTHEWALRUS_ This refers to The Beatles. Remember: V. stoned.
  * Full House: I don't know if someone doesn't know about this. Really annoying sitcom. The Cheat thing is from when he held a party with DJ from Full House.
  * Easter Egg #1: Once, there was a Full House episode where the family met The Beach Boys. Brian Wilson had this problem where he stayed in bed all the time. Don't know much else.




	8. homestar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suicide joke. At least this version doesn't have the Sexy Losers joke.

## 

##  Summary 

Strong Sad and Homestar Runner bond. Painfully.

**Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Homestar Runner

 

##  Transcript 

**STRONG SAD:** What happened last email? _{opens up his email}_

> To Strong Sad;
> 
> What is your opinion of Homestar Runner?  
> You guys like, never talk to each other  
> that much.
> 
> Some guy,  
> Tuquee Lukee

**STRONG SAD:** _{reads email, stops at the name}_ What language is that name? It must be some unknown language. Some unknown Amazon tribe has gotten internet access! And they wasted it on me. _{sighs}_

_{He starts typing}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{typing}_ To the people of Tuquee Lukee _{pronouces "qu" as a toungue click}_ , I think Homestar Runner is... _{hesitates for a moment}_ an interesting guy. But he has his own friends and well, I have no friends. Also, he is annoyingly _{hesitates again}_ of different thought patterns.

**HOMESTAR RUNNER:** Different what?

_{Strong Sad falls off his chair in surprise}_

**STRONG SAD:** What are you doing here?

**HOMESTAR RUNNER:** Is that one of those phil-is-a-softie questions? _{looks at screen}_ So that's what you think of me! Cool! I've got friends!

**STRONG SAD:** I know I will regret this, but what do you think of me?

**HOMESTAR RUNNER:** I think of you as a friend!

**STRONG SAD:** _{happy}_ Really? You do?

**HOMESTAR RUNNER:** Yeah, even though you're boring and annoying and I hate being around you!

**STRONG SAD:** _{dejected}_ I'm going to visit the Tallahatchie Bridge.

**HOMESTAR RUNNER:** Road trip!

_{the end}_

 

##  Easter Egg 

  * Wait for this screen



    _{Strong Sad and Homestar Runner sit by the side of the Tallahatchie Bridge throwing white flowers. Homestar wears a shirt saying "I [heart] Billy Joe"}_
     **STRONG SAD:** This place has become too commerical.
     **HOMESTAR RUNNER:** I wanna bungee jumping!

 

##  Obscure References 

 

###  Explanations

  * I found out today that a "tuque" is a type of hat, not an Amazon tribe. The more you know, the stupider you feel.
  * The Tallahatchie Bridge refers to the song "Ode to Billie Joe", about a boy who kills himself by throwing himself off that bridge.



 

###  Trivia

  * Strong Sad's first line refers to the last email, torture, which was written by my sister.




	9. Saddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This episode is a parody of Tommy so it has references to death and abuse.

##  Summary 

Strong Sad reveals his childhood. Someone else's childhood.

 **Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Mother, Mother's Boyfriend, Father, Police, Doctor, Cousin Bad, Uncle Creepy, Gypsy Queen, Saddy's Groupies, The Cheat, Strong Bad

 

##  Transcript 

**STRONG SAD:** _{singing}_ Answering my emails, just like Brain Wilson...won't. _{sighs, opens email}_

> Dear Strong Sad,
> 
> Dear Strong Sad,
> 
> You're the best. After looking in your Fond Rememberances  
> box under your bed I saw some pictures that made it seem  
> like you and your brother, Strong Bad, were friends.  
> Is that true? And also, who is the oldest Brother Strong?  
> The middle? The youngest? Is there a Strong Glad? Do you  
> Strongs each have different moms? Who's you dad and/or mom?  
> O. K., talk to you later.  
> Love,
> 
> bri angel

**STRONG SAD:** _{reading}_ Dear Strong Sad to the power of two, you are the best. The best what? The best failure? The best loser? I guess it's nice to be the best something. _{quickly mumbles off rest of letter}_ Love, briangle. What shape is a briangle again? I wish I was better at math, or making friends. _{typing}_ Dear Briangle, I guess you want to know about my early life and my family history. I will tell you now.

_{Dramatic rock opera music plays. Cut to a toddler Strong Sad [Saddy] being doted on by a generic mother and a generic man. A christmas tree is behind them.}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{voice-over}_ My father was declared MIA before I was born, but my mom was not lonely. We were a happy family.

_{A man in a tattered WWII era uniform comes in a shots the generic man. The solider looks at the generic mother}_

**MOTHER:** Ohhh, akward.

_{The solider [Strong Sad's father, if you haven't figure it out yet] embraces the mother. They then look at the child.}_

**MOTHER:** {singing to Strong Sad} You didn't hear it, You didn't see it, Get Mommy another drink, Saddy!

_{Later, the police are over. They question the mother and father.}_

**POLICE:** So you didn't kill him? _{they shake their heads}_ Righto! Come on, boys.

_{The police leave. The mother turns to little Saddy, who looks blankly.}_

**MOTHER:** _{singing}_ Saddy can you hear me? Can you feel me? _{sharper}_ Get me a drink dear!

 **SADDY:**...

_{Cut to a doctor's office}_

**DOCTOR:** He's deaf, dumb, and blind.

 **MOTHER:** _{singing}_ Who should I write the check to?

_{Back at the house. His parents hug Saddy.}_

**MOTHER:** _{singing}_ We love you very much, but we're leaving you with these guys! Cousin Bad and Uncle Creepy!

_{Points to Strong Bad [Cousin Bad] and Senor Cardgage [Uncle Creepy].}_

**COUSIN BAD:** Want to play, dumpus?

 **UNCLE CREEPY:** Fiddlintime, Abegail?

_{The parents leave in a hurry}_

**SADDY:** _{anger}_...

 **STRONG SAD:** _{voice-over}_ They took me to various experts.

_{Cut to Bubs in drag [Gypsy Queen] with Saddy's family}_

**GYPSY QUEEN:** _{singing}_ The child ain't right, watch me dance!

_{The family quietly leaves as the Gypsy queen dances. Cut to Cousin Bad and friends [Strong Mad and The Cheat] surround a teenage Saddy}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{voice-over}_ But that was before I learned my special talent.

 **COUSIN BAD:** That deaf, dumb, and blind dork sure slams a mean poetry!

_{Reveal Saddy writing will a quill on a piece of parchment}_

**GROUPIES:** We love Saddy!

_{Cut to the whole cast surround Saddy}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{voice-over}_ And when I started talking...

 **MOTHER:** _{singing}_ Saddy you can talk now!

 **FATHER:** Stop singing!

_{Dramatic music and lighting as Saddy sings}_

**SADDY:** _{singing}_ From you I get my neurosis, from you I get crippling self-doubt...

_{Cut to the real world. Strong Sad dances to a light show in his room}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{singing}_ From you I get my...

_{Light show stops. Strong Bad pulled the plug from lighting equitment}_

**STRONG BAD:** Hey, you stole that from Tommy's The Who!

 **THE CHEAT:** _{off-screen}_ Meh!

 **STRONG BAD:** _{to the Cheat}_ I got that so you could make light shows for me, not dumpus!

_{Strong Bad leaves with the Cheat. Strong Sad goes back to the computer.}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{typing}_ I guess I mistook fantasy for reality again. My therapist tells I should live in this horrible world. _{sighs}_

_{The End}_

 

##  Easter Egg

  * Touch something at the end to see Strong Bad do a light show.



 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanations

  * The first line refers to the BNL song "Brian Wilson".
  * This whole episode is a parody of The Who's Tommy, not Tommy's The Who as Strong Bad said. It didn't turn out as well as I thought it would.




	10. Haunted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References to "The Ring".

##  Summary 

Strong Sad gets a paranormal vistor and Strong Bad gets a date.

**Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Strong Bad, Sadako, Homsar, Gavin (easter egg), Homestar Runner (easter egg)

 

##  Transcript 

_{Strong Sad is at his writing desk (as in the canon), writing in his fancy handwriting}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{reading}_ ...bile spew forth from...

_{His computer turns on and shows the following email}_

> Dear Strong Sad,
> 
> I have seen your blog and have noticed that you like the old movie Noseferatu.  
> So I just wanted to know,do you like any other movies from the 1930's?  
> If so, which ones would you suggest?
> 
> -Signed, Your Biggest Fan: Invader T.K.

**STRONG SAD:** Huh, that's weird.

_{Strong Sad walks over to his computer and sits down}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{reads email, says "1930's" as "ninteen-thirty unnecessary apostrophe"}_ Greatest fan? That's the most depressing thing I've heard, even including my last story about a puppy with laser eyes. So, Invader Not Approved by Jhonen, you want my opinion on cienma? I think...

_{Before he can say anything the words on the screen melt and water flows out of the computer. New words appear on the screen}_
    
    
     Before you die you see student films. 

**STRONG SAD:** What?
    
    
    BOO!

**STRONG SAD:** Ahhhh! _{runs out of the room}_

_{In the Strongs' dining room (whatever that looks like), Strong Bad is entertaining a young Japanese woman wearing a hospital gown. Long black hair obscures her face. The lights flicker ominously.}_

**STRONG BAD:** So baby, what do you suggest we do tonight?

_{Strong Sad runs in}_

**STRONG SAD:** Strong Bad, you need to get out of the house!

**STRONG BAD:** More like you get out of the house! I'm entertaining this fine lady and I don't want you to nerd her off before I get to first base.

**STRONG SAD:** _{looks at woman}_ Ahhhh, it's her!!!

**STRONG BAD:** Yeah, she's a woman, dumpus. Your point?

**STRONG SAD:** My point? She's Sadako, the Japanese version of Samara from "The Ring". She's the evil spirit of a murdered psychic bent on destruction! My point is she'll kill you!

**STRONG BAD:** Counterpoint: She's hot.

_{Pause}_

**STRONG SAD:** I'm going over to Homsar's for a few decades. I hope Strong Mad has more sense than you. {leaves}

**STRONG BAD:** _{to Sad}_ Yeah, I bet you hope he has more sense than me! Loser! _{to Her}_ So, what about that tape you were talking about?

_{A horse runs through the hall behind them}_

**STRONG BAD:** Stupid recessed lighting.

_{Cut to a beaten up mailbox with "Homsar" written on it}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{from inside mailbox}_ ...and I think it would make a great date movie, but I wouldn't know about that. So watch those movies and tell me what you think. Just make sure not to watch any unlabeled VHS tapes. Sighed, Strong Sad.

**HOMSAR:** _{inside mailbox}_ Frolic in brine, goblins be thine!

_{The End}_

 

##  Easter Eggs

  * Click any where on the screen for this H*R version of the cursed tape: 
    * A coffee cup "ring" on a doodle of Strong Bad
    * Sanka being poured into a cup of orange juice
    * Strong Sad with a paper bag over his face falling off a cliff.
    * Homsar shierking
    * Gavin
    * Naked Homestar: Boo!
  * Oh, but don't watch it (or read that list) or you'll die. Sorry about that.



 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanation

  * This whole email is a reference to the Ring series. Based on a novel by Suzuki Koji, it has spawned several Japanese movies, a Japanese televison series, and an American version starring Naomi Watts. Most of the references here refer to the American movie, since I have not seen the Japanese version yet. I used Sadako instead of Samara because it would be too creepy for Strong Bad to romance a little girl. But which Sadako is he courting? That's for you to decide.
  * "Frolic in brine, goblins be thine" is from a translation of line in one of the Japanese movies. I don't know which one! I'm using references I don't know about!
  * The "Invader Not Approved by Jhonen" refers to Invader Zim. Jhonen Vasquez, the creator, says he named all the invaders in the first scene in the first episode. You're not an Invader, kid.



##  Note

  * I don't know anything about 1930s movies. Maybe you should try Casablanca, T.K.?



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now in 2016 I know everything about 1930s movies.


	11. Birthday

##  Summary

Hysterical Woman finally writes this dang email.

**Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Strong Bad, Strong Mad

##  Transcript

**STRONG SAD:** I saw the best emails of my generation destroyed... _{opens email}_

> Strong sad,  
> When is your birthday and what would you like to have for a present?  
> -oopsyoubwokeit

**STRONG SAD:** _{reads email but has problems with name}_ Ooh-pys-ou-bwhee? I can't read that. Another failure for Strong Sad. _{starts typing}_ Dear Oop... _{types name correctly, but can't read it}_ What I typed, today happens to be my birthday! I'm a Pisces, or at least I would be if the Earth didn't rotate on its axis making the traditional zodiac meaningless. But anyway, today, Febuary 8th, is my birthday.

_{goes over to writing desk}_

**STRONG SAD:** For my birthday, I'd like a new calligraphy pen. _{holds up black stub}_ I think this one is spent.

_{Strong Mad knocks down door. Strong Bad enters with a small package}_

**STRONG BAD:** Hey, slightly older baby! Mom sent you a lame present.

**STRONG SAD:** Oh, a pen shaped box! I wonder what's inside. _{takes box}_ She always wraps it in such weird paper. Why are these trees decorated? Who's the fat old man in red supposed to be?

**STRONG BAD:** Just open it! I wanna see if it's worth stealing.

_{Strong Sad opens the small box, and pulls a large sweater out}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{disappointed}_ A heart-covered sweater.

**STRONG BAD:** We got the same lousy thing for Decem...I mean, Absolutely Nothing Day. Smell you later.

_{Strong Bad and Strong Mad exit to hallway}_

**STRONG BAD:** _{sadly}_ I can't believe the poor dork hasn't figured it out yet.

_{The End}_

 

##  Easter Egg

  * Click Strong Bad for this scene:



    _{Back in Strong Sad's room}_
     **STRONG SAD:** I figured it out!
    _{Strong Bad enters}_
     **STRONG BAD:** What!?
     **STRONG SAD:** It's Oop You Bwoke It! That's their name!
     **STRONG BAD:** Oh, yeah, that. No secrets kept here!

  * Click on Strong Mad to see an "Happy Absolutely Nothing Day" card



 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanations

  * Strong Sad's first line is a paraphase of the poem "Howl" by Allen Ginsberg.
  * The thing about the zodiac being off is true. Things have changed in the sky since the ancient Babylonians, don't you know?
  * I have a strange theory about why Strong Sad's locked in a bathtub every Decemberween, but I'm saving it for "Shoebox of Memories".
  * Assuming I decide to write "Shoebox".



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never wrote "Shoebox of Memories". I think my theory was Strong Sad was some sort of werecreature?


	12. Naked?

##  Summary

Strong Sad talks with Hysterical Woman and breaks the fourth wall.

 **Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, The Cheat, Hysterical Woman, The Hyper-Intelligent Pan-Dimensional Teddy Bear

 

##  Transcript

**STRONG SAD:** _{slowly singing}_ This is what you get... _{piano notes}_ This is what you get... _{piano notes}_ This is what you get, when you email me.

_{wide shot reveals The Cheat leaving with a keyboard. Strong Sad opens his email}_

 

> Dear Fatson  
>  Why are you always naked? Are into naturism?  
>  Going commando, Trogga

**STRONG SAD:** _{reading}_ Dear Fatson... _{stops}_ Are you refering to my character Absinthe Fatson, the hard-boiled detective with the glandular problem? I have a fan! No, wait, you're probably talking about Strong Bad's nickname for me. _{sighs}_ When will I get recongition?

_{Strong Sad finishes reading the email}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{typing}_ Dear Trogga, I just prefer to go naked. Nobody cares because I spend most my time in my room, but sometimes I wear...

_{the phone rings. Strong Sad stops typing and answers it}_

**HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{over phone}_ WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR NAKED?

 **STRONG SAD:** It's kind of obvious, no offence. What could I be wearing? Really weird pants?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{over phone}_ But, um, then why can't we see your, um, nipples?

 **STRONG SAD:** Nipples?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{over phone}_ I was going to ask about the other stuff but I had to keep it G rated. But really, you do your emails naked in front of people?

 **STRONG SAD:** What people? I just write the emails.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{over phone}_ Then who are you talking to during the emails?

 **STRONG SAD:** My super-intelligent pan-dimensional teddy bear.

_{Cut to Strong Sad's bed, which has a teddy bear with glowing eyes}_

**TEDDY BEAR:** _{voice-over}_ THE PROPHECY MUST COME TRUE.

_{Cut back to Strong Sad}_

**HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{over phone}_ You really are very creepy.

 **STRONG SAD:** Years of physical and emotional abuse will do that to you.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{over phone}_ On that happy note, let's end.

_{the end}_

 

##  Easter Egg

  * Wait 15 seconds for this exchange



     **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{over phone}_ Um, aren't you going to hang up?
     **STRONG SAD:** But I'm lonely.
     **TEDDY BEAR:** IN THE NEW WORLD ORDER, NO ONE WILL BE LONELY.
     **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Just because you're intelligent doesn't mean you're a good conversationalist.

  * Click on "Fatson" to see the cover of "Absinthe Fatson Strikes Again" (the G rated version).
  * Click on "wear" to see Strong Sad in various outfits.



 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanation

  * Strong Sad's first line is a parapharse of the refain from "Karma Police" by Radiohead.
  * Asinthe is a type of alcoholic beverage. Strong Sad Emails doesn't not endorse drinking it without a parking permit.
  * Yes, Strong Sad is naked.



 

###  Trivia

  * In Biography, Strong Sad talks about his writing career.




	13. perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> random nazis

##  Summary

Strong Sad tries to imagine a perfect world.

 **Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Coach Z, Bubs, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, The Cheat, Announcer, Marzipan, Modestly Hot Homsar

 

##  Transcript

**STRONG SAD:** Do androids dream of electric mail? _{opens email}_

> Dear strongest of the sad  
> If things were run your way,what would you do,and what wouldhappen  
> to the other characters?  
> sincerely,Discountest of the bricks

**STRONG SAD:** _{reads emails, says name as "Dis Countess of the Bricks"}_ Dang, how do you address a countess? I don't want to offend a noble of the Land of the Bricks...again. _{starts typing}_ Your Countessness, thank you for your correspondence. You raised a good question. What would happen if everything went my way? _{turns around chair}_ I'll not just tell you what would happen, I'll show you. With the power of imagination _{dark gothic rainbow appears}_ and this virtual reality helmet. _{picks up helmet, and puts it on}_

_{Sciency transtion}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{voice-over}_ If everything went my way, I would have my stuff published by a real publishing firm, not that girlie book one.

_{Cut to Coach Z at a bookshelf, holding a book titled "Senor and Mr.Bland Are Dead"}_

**COACH Z:** I'm happy! _{pause}_ But vaguely disappernted...

 **BUBS:** _{behind a counter}_ Hey! You can't just hang around reading. This ain't a library!

 **COACH Z:** Yes it is. _{points to sign saying "Library"}_

 **BUBS:** Oww...shiitake mushrooms.

_{Cut to the other Brothers Strong in the corner of a boxing ring. The Cheat sits outside.}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{voice-over}_ My brothers would finally go into wrestling like they always talked about and leave me alone.

 **ANNOUNCER:** And in the other corner, from Our Lady of Overwhelming Guilt, Sister Mary's 4th grade class!

 **STRONG BAD:** _{proud}_ Our toughest match yet.

_{Cut to a museum hall. Strong Sad is walking down the hall, surrounded by contemporary art (like photo-realistic autospy paintings of fiberclass covered in elephant dung)}_

**STRONG SAD:** Free Country would become The Place for the Arts.

_{Marzipan walks up to Strong Sad}_

**MARZIPAN:** Hello, Strong Sad, I just wanted to tell you how much I respect and admire you, and I don't think you're fat or boring...

_{Strong Sad perks up}_

**MARZIPAN:**...oh, who am I kidding? You're the worse person I know and I hate you! I hate you!

 **STRONG SAD:** Wait, this isn't supposed...

_{Several things happen at once. The Brothers Strong and The Cheat march in wearing Nazi uniforms.}_

**STRONG BAD:** Siggie heel!

_{A pack of zoo animals run through the hall. Modestly Hot Homsar enters carrying several babies.}_

**MODESTLY HOT HOMSAR:** My husband!

_{The museum collaspes. The words "Mission Aborted" appear on screen. Cut to Strong Sad's room}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{taking off helmet}_ I can't even imagine myself being happy. That's sad. Really sad.

_{the end}_

 

##  Easter Eggs

  * Click on "Your Countessness" to see a picture of Dis Countess of the Bricks.



 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanations

  * This whole email is based vaguely on that episode of Red Dwarf (a British sci-fi comedy) where they get virtual reality but Rimmer messes it up with his subconsious and every thing goes wrong. Vaguely based on that.
  * The first line refers to the Ray Bradberry short story "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?". The movie Blade Runner was based on the story.
  * "Senor and Mr. Bland are dead" refers to the Tom Stoppard play "Rosencratz and Guildenstein are dear".
  * "Siggie heel" is a mispronuncation of "sieg heil", a Nazi slogan.



 

###  Trivia

  * Read biography to understand why Coach Z is disappointed.




	14. documentary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one suggestive joke

##  Summary

Strong Sad show a documentary about "Experimental Film". No, not the forum guy.

 **Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Narrator, Interviewer, John Flansburgh, John Linnel, Alex Trebec, Little Strong Bad, The Cheat, BBC Translator, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Homsar, Evil Studio Executive, Boring Tech Guy, Bubs (easter egg)

 

##  Transcript

**STRONG SAD:** In the internet, emails come and go, talk of Michelangelo. _{opens email}_

> Dear Strong Sad,  
> Are you friends with The Cheat,  
> or does he think you're as much  
> of a loser as everyone else does?  
> Josh

**STRONG SAD:** _{reads email, starts typing}_ No, I wouldn’t say I’m friends with the Cheat. He thinks I’m a loser, like everyone else does. {sighs} But we did manage to work together and create a music video the They Might Be Giants song “Experimental Film”. _{stops typing}_ In fact, I have a documentary on that video, and I’ll show it to you, on this TV that appeared out of nowhere. Let's watch.

_{Strong Sad puts a video in the VCR and press play. The title screen reads: Experiment: In Search of the Journey for the Music Video for Experimental Film}_

**NARRATOR:** Experimental Film is the hallmark this modern generation for years to come. It is a triumph of the will to live in this hellish modern world. It is a love story for the people who are tired of lack of healthcare in Third World countries. It is all these meaningless statements, and more!

_{clip of an interview with Strong Sad. Strong Sad is in a non-descript room, which will be used for other interviews.}_

**STRONG SAD:** I liked the film, even though it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to and contains gaping errors and haunts my sleep with its failures. Come to think of it... _{cut off}_

 **NARRATOR:** It all started with the band They Might Be Giants.

_{cut to an interview of TMBG}_

**INTERVIEWER:** John, I love your music.

 **JOHN FLANSBURGH:** Thank you.

 **INTERVIEWER:** _{sharp}_ I was talking to John! _{points to Linnell}_ Anyway, I like that song about the guy who keeps getting postcards with chimpanzees.

 **JOHN LINNELL:** That was the band Barenaked Ladies.

 **INTERVIEWER:** Well, then, I like that song with the line “Put out the dog and brings in the cat”.

 **JOHN LINNELL:** That’s Yakety Yak by The Coasters.

 **INTERVIEWER:** What about that song that a really long rant about eating sauerkraut and a plane crash and hermaphrodites and donut shops and weasels but it’s all really about this city in New Mexico.

_{Now the band is at a game show desk}_

**JOHN LINNELL:** _{hits buzzer}_ Albuquerque by Weird Al Yankovic!

 **ALEX TREBEC:** Sorry, you have to put it in the form of a question.

 **JOHN FLANSBURGH:** _{to Linnell}_ Nice going, John.

 **NARRATOR:** They Might Be Giants choose Strong Sad to direct the music video for Experimental Film. Strong Sad’s only previous experience was the filming of the 3rd Annual Free Country Talent Show _{clip from[stand-up](http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/stand-up)}_ and Strong Family Trip to Williamsburg ‘81.

_{Low-quality video of little Strong Bad chasing a woman in colonial dress with fire poker}_

**NARRATOR:** Strong Sad chose The Cheat to be his co-director.

_{clip of Strong Sad interview}_

**STRONG SAD:** The Cheat offered to help me direct, in exchange for not knawing my face off.

_{clip of The Cheat doing an interview.}_

**THE CHEAT:** _{cheat-speak}_

_{A female voice with a BBC British accent dubs over The Cheat}_

**TRANSLATION:** Yeah, Strong Sad is a swell kid, but I thought his ideas needed some jazz or they would flop with the brats, if you know what I mean? So I did it my way. And anyone who doesn’t agree can…oh my goodness, that’s filthy! And physical impossible!

_{interview of Strong Sad}_

**STRONG SAD:** The Cheat was the one who found the ATM. In fact, he found a lot of ATMs. _{suspicious}_ He never told us where he got them.

 **NARRATOR:** Experimental Film is a flash cartoon…or part of it is.

_{cut to the Cheat at the Tangerine Dream}_

**THE CHEAT:** _{cheat-speak, as he makes a little animation}_

 **TRANSLATION:** Here is where I made the cartoon part of Experimental Film. First I draw fatty, than I move him in some frames, loop it a bit, and I’m done. Yes, the huge animation budget was justified. And no, I don’t know where the money went, but I’m sure that the cheque is in the post.

 **NARRATOR:** The acting in Experimental Film was provided by Strong Sad’s friends and slash or family. They were amateurs with a love of film and an ignorance of union practices.

_{interview with Homestar Runner}_

**HOMESTAR:** Strong Sad is not only a great director, but a fan-awesome guy to work with. I treasure our time on that set. _{long pause}_ Seriously though, I hate that freakin’ guy. Thought he was the king of the world or something. I never want to work with that guy again. _{whispering off-stage}_ Holy crap, the camera’s running! Um, I was talking about James Cameron.

_{interview with Strong Bad}_

**STRONG BAD:** Of course, my baby brother originally gave me a bigger role in the film. In the first script, Super McBad, my character, and Round-elly, his character, were going to go cross country on nuclear hover bikes in post-apologetic wasteland to Neo-Parts Unknown. As we traveled, we would learn about life and friendship and blackjacks, until I sold Roundy for traveling money. But Saddysawa junked that and went with some po-mo poop.

 **NARRATOR:** But who would play the main character? Other actors were used before Strong decided to play the role himself.

_{cut to clip from the filming. Homsar is dressed as Strong Sad (see[impression](http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/impression)).}_

**HOMSAR:** Ahhh…Ahhhhh…Ahh……..

_{As he screams, the camera turns around to the filming crew and than to Strong Sad in a director’s chair and than back again.}_

**HOMSAR:** Ahhhhhhh…ohhh.

 **STRONG SAD:** _{angry}_ Cut! It’s supposed to be ahhh, not ohhh. That’s it, you’re fired.

 **HOMSAR:** I’ll never eat grass on this lawn again.

_{interview with Strong Sad}_

**STRONG SAD:** By being both a director and an actor, I got to experience what it’s like to have multiple personality disorder.

 **NARRATOR:** The film did have its share of troubles.

_{interview with a businessman in a fancy office}_

**~~EVIL~~ STUDIO EXECUTIVE:** We cut the film to give it a more consumer friendly “happy ending”, as they say in the massage parlors.

 **INTERVIEWER:** So, the bowl hitting was the happy ending?

 ** ~~EVIL~~ STUDIO EXECUTIVE:** You wouldn’t want to see the original ending.

_{interview with a young nerdy guy}_

**BORING TECH:** We need the 5’, but only 4 ½’ were avalible, so I had to drive 90 miles pass a train going 80 miles per an hour to Albuquerque from San Diego carrying…hey! {television turned off}

 **STRONG SAD:** On second thought, let’s not watch it.

_{the end}_

##  Easter Eggs

  * Click on the word "Josh" to see this scene



    _{Cut to Bub's Concession Stand. Homestar talks to Bubs}_
     **HOMESTAR:** Hey Bubs, what's for lunch today?
     **BUBS:** Today, I grilled up some shiitake mushrooms...
    _{Bubs and the concession stand disappear. Homestar pauses and looks around. He slowly backs away, whistling}_

  * Click on the words Experimental Film at the end to see the original. [[1]](http://www.homestarrunner.com/expfilm.html)



 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanations

  * Strong Sad's first line is a paraphase of the line


    
    
    In the room the women come and go
        Talking of Michelangelo

from the poem "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T.S. Eliot.

  * The Strongs took a trip to Colonial Williamsburg, which is an recreated 18th century town in Williamsburg, Virginia. My family has spent a lot of time down there. It's like a trip to the past without the smells!
  * In case you didn't know, They Might Be Giants is an American band that did the song Experimental Film. Barenaked Ladies is a really band with fun name, and their cool too.
  * Alex Trebeck is the host of Jeopardy, a game show where they give you the answers and you have to guess the question.
  * "Cheque" is the British spelling for "check". Post is an other Britishism.
  * James Cameron is the director for "Terminator" and "Titanic". At the Oscar awards for Titanic, he famously said "I'm the King of the World!"
  * Round-elly refers to Rondell, Strong Sad's name for the main character in "Experimental Film". Also, he meant to say post-apocalyptic.
  * Saddysawa is a pun on Kurosawa, a famous Japanese director.
  * The Evil Studio Executive part is a references to the troubles the movie "Brazil" went through.



 

###  Trivia

  * Josh knows what I mean by shiitake mushrooms. I hope you aren't offended.




	15. jam

##  Summary

Strong Sad shows some of his non-fruit jams.

**Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad

 

##  Transcript

**STRONG SAD:** How terrible it is to be some email. _{opens email}_

> Dear Strong Sad,  
> You are an awesome rap artist! Do you any  
> more slick jams? I mean, "The Quill. The  
> Page. Lyric. Rampage. Word up." Genius!  
> You MUST show me more.  
> Sincerely,  
> Gregorigo

**STRONG SAD:** _{reads email}_ Wow, it's not every day that a Late Renaissance painter emails me. It's been like, two weeks since that happened. But why is he intersted in my jams? Though I did win the county fair for them. _{holds up a jar which says "Strong Sad's Slick Jams" and has a "Support the Troops" ribbon on it}_ Oh wait, he means my poetry. _{starts typing}_ Dear Gregorio, I'm glad you like my poetry. I was afraid only Marzipan and Homsar liked it. Well, I think Homsar likes it, but I don't know what he means by _{imitating Homsar}_ "Tastes great, less filling". Anyway, let me get some more of my poetry.

_{Strong Sad gets up and goes over to the filling cabinet. He opens a large drawer at the bottom and walks in. In the drawer is a drab grey hallway. At the end of the hallway is a British telephone booth. He enters the telephone booth. Inside the telephone is a kiosk with a chair next to it. Strong Sad fills out a paper and walks down a another hallway with chairs along the side. On each chair is a picture of a finger pointing down the hall. He opens a door. Inside is a strange stone door surrounded by water. He points a frown face shaped ring at the door, and the door opens and water falls from the sky. He climbs up a set of sprial stairs till he gets to a filling cabinet that looks like the one before.}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{catching his breath}_ I should have taken the elevator. _{opens a drawer and takes out a piece of paper}_ Here's one. _{reads it}_
    
    
    Akbar,
    Mahmoud,
    Mendi,
    Mohammad

**STRONG SAD:** Wait, that's a list of top candidates in the 2005 Iranian Presidental Nomination. Let me try again. _{pull something else out}_
    
    
    Mary, John,
    Peter, Mary,
    Michael, Mary

**STRONG SAD:** No, that's a list of Portuguese monarchs of the House of Braganza who ruled during the 19th century. _{pulls something else out}_
    
    
    First, Inner,
    Outer, Last

**STRONG SAD:** That's a mneyomic for algebra equations in paranthesis. I can't find anything! _{pulls something out}_ Here we go!

_{Cut to Strong Sad's computer. We hear an elevator bell off-screen, then Strong Sad enters and sits down}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{starts typing}_ Here's a poem for you.
    
    
    Welcome to the ool
    No P
    Keep it that way

**STRONG SAD:** Um, it's not my best work, but it's popular. What do you think?

_{the end}_

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanations

 

###  Trivia

  * This is the first and so far only email where Strong Sad is the only character.




	16. love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kurt cobain joke

##  Summary

Strong Sad goes on a date.

 **Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Brittany, Server, Strong Bad

 

##  Transcript

**STRONG SAD:** _{singing}_ Why does it always rain on me? Was it cause I lied when I was only...how old am I again? _{opens email}_

> Dear Strong Sad,
> 
> Okay, I have to get this out. I love you. I really, really love you. No, this is not a virus. I think you're so smart, kind, thoughtful, and your voice is the voice of an angel. I don't care about your outside, because it's the inside that matters. Also, I want to see if you're doing anything Sunday night. Maybe we could go out, and if you're doing something already, I could go with you to where ever you're going. I know you like The Cure, and They Might Be Giants, and let me tell you, I love The Cure, and They Might Be Giants! What other bands/artists do you like? Maybe we could go to a concert, or something! Anyway, lots of love!
> 
> Love,
> 
> Brittany

**STRONG SAD:** _{reads email, getting increasingly more excited}_ Wow. I don't know what to say. This is too sophisticated to be from Strong Bad. This must be real. Could this be love? _{Strong Sad types an email}_

> Dear Brittany,
> 
> Do you know where Marshmallow's Last Stand is? We can meet there.
> 
> Love,
> 
> Strong Sad

**STRONG SAD:** Now to wait.

_{10 Minutes Later}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{rocking back and forth on the floor, looking crazed}_ Please reply, please reply, she's not going to reply, she hates me...

_{Computer makes email sound. Strong Sad pulls himself together and goes over to the computer. He brings up an email}_

> Dear Strong Sad,
> 
> That sounds perfect. Let's make a date for 3 PM Saturday. We'll wear red carnations.  
> See you there!
> 
> Love,
> 
> Brittany

**STRONG SAD:** Now to wait.

_{Saturday, 2:50 PM}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{rocking back and forth again}_ Going crazy, don't mind me.

_{An alarm goes off. Strong Sad gets up}_

**STRONG SAD:** Oh no, I forgot to shower...or eat this week! No time! _{runs out}_

_{Cut to Marshmallow's Last Stand. Strong Sad sits in a booth, wearing a green sweater with a red carnation}_

**STRONG SAD:** Cool blue ocean, cool blue ocean...

 **WOMAN:** _{off-screen}_ Ahem?

_{Pan to a short, green woman with crazy hair and a red carnation. Looks vaguely like Vendetta from Making Fiends}_

**WOMAN:** _{horrible nasal voice}_ Are you Strong Sad?

 **STRONG SAD:** Um, yes?

 **BRITTANY:** I'm Brittany. _{sits at booth}_

 **STRONG SAD:** Uh, hello. My name is...

 **BRITTANY:** I already know you're name! I emailed you. So, you paying? You better be paying.

 **STRONG SAD:** Yes, I did invite you so it would be rude to not pay.

 **BRITTANY:** Thank you, Mr. Manners. I'm not some stupid hippie.

_{A server comes over}_

**SERVER:** Welcome to Marshmallow's Last Stand, our specials today are...

 **BRITTANY:** Shut up! I'll have a marshmallow shake, the marshmallow sampler, the marshmallow pie, a marshmallow steak, rare but not too rare, with plenty of marshmallow sauce, lobster a la marshmallow, and for desert, marshmallows.

 **STRONG SAD:** I'll have a glass of water. No ice.

 **SERVER:** Your order will be ready soon. _{leaves}_

 **BRITTANY:** _{to server}_ It better be! And don't spit in my food!

 **STRONG SAD:** Um, so you wrote that you like The Cure and They Might Be Giants?

 **BRITTANY:** I write a lot of things.

 **STRONG SAD:** Oh.

_{Awkward silence}_

**BRITTANY:** I heard a great joke the other day. What did the no-armed say to the other no-armed? Nothing! Cause they're stupid!

 **STRONG SAD:** I don't like jokes like that...

 **BRITTANY:** What, you got some no-armed friends? Some of them are good, but no offense, most of them are bad to the bone. _{lights cigarette}_

 **STRONG SAD:** I don't think they allow smoking in here.

 **BRITTANY:** They should! I'm a paying customer!

 **STRONG SAD:** Actually, I'm the one paying...

 **BRITTANY:** Don't get smart with me! You know what I'm talking about!

_{The server comes back with all Brittany's food. The table is full of her order. Brittany picks at it for a while, then leans back.}_

**STRONG SAD:** Are you going to eat all that?

 **BRITTANY:** Are you kidding? I'm on a diet!

 **STRONG SAD:** So, can I have some?

 **BRITTANY:** Eat your own dang food!

 **STRONG SAD:** Sorry. _{thinking voice-over}_ Well, she's loud, rude, and not very attractive, but I'm not a catch either. So why not? _{out-loud}_ I know we just meet, but I think I love you.

 **BRITTANY:** I don't.

 **STRONG SAD:** What?

 **BRITTANY:** You're too short. I thought you were taller. Can't stand short guys.

 **STRONG SAD:** But...but...but...

 **BRITTANY:** I'm outtie. _{leaves}_

 **SERVER:** That will be one hundred sixty five and tooty two cents.

_{Cut to Strong Bad outside Strong Sad's door}_

**STRONG BAD:** Fatty won't be able to do his email poetry slams this week because Kurt Cobain died again or something. Like I can tell with all the weeping. Anyway, I'm off on a hot date with this girl called Brittany. See you later, emo-dorks.

_{the end}_

##  Note to Brittany

  * I mean no offense in this email. Perhaps you are a wonderful and sweet person. But that wouldn't be very funny.



 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanation

  * The first line is from a song "Why does it always rain on me" by Travis.
  * Kurt Cobain was the lead singer of Nirvana. He commited suicide in the early 90s.



 

###  Trivia

  * "Tooty two" is a H*R runnning gag.




	17. nothing

##  Summary

While Strong Sad's away, Homsar will play.

 **Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Homsar, Strong Bad (off-screen)

##  Transcript

_{Silence. Strong Sad lies on his bed, with a handwritten sign on his belly. More silence. Homsar oozes up through the floor.}_

**HOMSAR:** I'm not going til I'm a gone!

_{He looks around. He walks over at the note. The note reads as follows.}_
    
    
     I'm a catatonically depressed. Leave me alone.
    -Strong Sad

_{Homsar walks over the computer and turns it on. He gets this email.}_

 

> Dear Strong Sad,  
>  I noticed that you have a link to  
>  your blog on Strong Bad's website.  
>  I don't think that's a good idea,  
>  because Strong Bad could go there and  
>  make spam-filled posts. If I were you, I'd  
>  delete that link right away.
> 
> Stinkoman K

_{Homsar types in wingding as he talks}_

**HOMSAR:** Ahhh, Super Dragon, don't worry about the dread. Coming up next, moist toliettes!

_{Homsar is suddenly on a Viking ship with giant kittens}_

**HOMSAR:** Spam is good for Viiii-Kings! But watch out for Lookey-Loo!

_{Homsar is back at Strong Sad's room, but on the ceiling. Camera is upside down}_

**HOMSAR:** Now for more emaaaail treats! Take it away, Sam.

 

> Strong Sad,
> 
> I think it's high time you composed a rock opera. You simply owe it to society.  
>  What should it be about?  
>  That's up to you.  
>  Best wishes,  
>  Anonymous Contributor  
>  Gambier, OH

_{Homsar is on top of the Strong House}_

**HOMSAR:** Hey, nonny-nonymous! Two spa-arrows for gold lock! Ohio, gozama beans?

 **STRONG BAD:** _{off-screen}_ Get down from there!

_{Homsar is dressed as the Phantom of the Opera and swing from a chandelier in an fancy opera house}_

**HOMSAR:** Strong Bandar medicine works quick! No, Granny, don't! But, rocks.

_{Homsar is hit by a flying rock. Cut to Strong Sad's room. Homsar is normal, but his shirt is mirror image}_

**HOMSAR:** Fret, my love. _{opens another email}_

 

> Gron Sad:  
>  You SUCK!!!

**HOMSAR:** AhhhhHHHhhhaHHHHahhh...

 **STRONG SAD:** _{groggy}_ Homsar, what's going on?

 **HOMSAR:** Fruit pudding!

 **STRONG SAD:** _{groggy}_ Oh, okay. _{rolls over}_

 **HOMSAR:** And that's all, folk music!

 _{the end}_

##  Easter Egg

  * Click on Strong Sad to see [this](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Love_Song).



 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanations

  * The title is a play on the Strong Bad Email "Anything".
  * The term "spam" comes from a Monty Python skit with Vikings.
  * Lookey-Loo means Loki, a Norse trickster god (trick meaning painful death).
  * "Ohio" is Japanese for Hello.
  * "Strong Bandar medicine" is from the Phantom comic serial. The tribe the Phantom protects in called the Bandar people
  * The Terry Pratchett version of "The Phantom of the Opera", "Maskerade", one of the characters is Granny Weatherwax.



 

###  Trivia

  * Strong Sad is in bed like Brian Wilson because Brittany dumped him.
  * This is the first time I've done more than one email at a time, and the first time someone other than Strong Sad answered an email.




	18. my half

##  Summary

Strong Sad is giving it up to the random man. Warning: Possible Sandman spoilers.

 **Cast(in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Dream, Ana Ng, Homsar (easter egg), Delirium (easter egg)

 

##  Transcript

_{Strong Sad walks into the room and sits down at the computer}_

**STRONG SAD:** Time to go back to the lame poetry slam, my fellow emo-dorks. _{sighs, opens email}_

> Dear Strong sad  
> I don't want the world, I just want your half.  
> -Ana Ng

**STRONG SAD:** _{reads email, starts typing}_ You want my world? Well, what you see here is it.

_{Shot of Strong Sad's room. Silence. His Cure poster falls down.}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{typing}_ But my inner world is another question.

_{Strong Sad gets up and walks off set to a weird lunar landscape populated by things out of a Hieronymus Bosch painting.}_

**STRONG SAD:** I might as well give this up, even if it is the only thing that makes me happy. Strong Bad would probably ruin it somehow anyway.

_{Strong Sad walks along until he meets a skinny young man in a black cloak, with messy black hair and black stars for eyes.}_

**STRONG SAD:** Hey, it's Dream of the Endless!

 **DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** S'up.

 **STRONG SAD:** Wait, didn't you in "The Kindly Ones"...

 **DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** Yeah, go ahead and spoil the plot for everyone! Anyway, I'm probably just an hallucination brought on by carbon monoxicide poisoning, which is why I'm acting wildly out-of-character.

 **STRONG SAD:** Oh. _{pause}_ Anyway, I'd like to give my inner world to some random person who emailed me.

 **DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** Why do people always go to me with these questions? First Lucifer, now you! Do I look like a real estate agent? Oh well, let's go.

_{Cut to Ana Ng's dormcile. Strong Sad and Dream of the Endless (with suit and briefcase) knock on the door. Ana Ng opens the door}_

**ANA NG:** What? I though you were fictional.

 **BOTH:** So did I.

 **ANA NG:** So, what are you here for?

 **DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** My client, Strong Frodo Sad of Free Country, USA, wishes to give you the tax-deductable gift of his entire inner world. _{hand Ana Ng a fancy deed}_

_{Long, long pause}_

**ANA NG:** Um, I was just joking about the whole "your world" thing. I don't want it. _{gives deed back}_

 **STRONG SAD:** _{near tears}_ You don't want it? But it's very beautiful, in a creepy, disturbing way. I thought you would love it.

 **ANA NG:** Oh, I love your inner world, I'm just not _in love_ with your inner world.

 **STRONG SAD:** Really?

 **ANA NG:** It's not you, it's me. I'm just not ready for that type of commitment.

 **DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** Let's go, Sunshine.

_{Cut back to Strong Sad's room}_

**STRONG SAD:** I guess it's good I didn't give away my inner world. I would have gone crazy without it.

 **DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** You would have gone more than crazy. There aren't even words for how tortured you would be.

 **STRONG SAD:** Why didn't you tell me that earlier?

 **DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** I don't like you.

 **STRONG SAD:** Does anybody like me?

 **DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** If things get really bad, talk to my sister.

 **STRONG SAD:** Which one?

 **DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** You know which one I mean. Adios. _{disappears in a poof of mystery}_

 **STRONG SAD:** We need to get a carbon monoxidide dectector.

_{the end}_

##  Easter Eggs

  * Click on the words "inner world" at the end to see the following skit.



    _{Homsar and a burnt-out raver chick (Delirium, the youngest of the Endless) lay on the grass make bubbles shaped like fishes}_
     **DELIRIUM:** What's that word, you know, for a thing you get in cereal boxes and in flash animation?
     **HOMSAR:** Tuna salad!
     **DELIRIUM:** Ah, close enough.

 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Real life References

  * Hieronymus Bosch (1450-1516 A.D.) was a Dutch painter famous for his weird allegorical paintings.
  * Death, Destiny, Dream, Despair, Destruction, Desire, and Delirium are the Endless, from Neil Gaiman's _The Sandman_ series. The first Dream appears in this email, despite the events in "The Kindly Ones". I won't tell you which sister Dream was talking about (he has four sisters).
  * Dream's comments about Lucifer refers to the events in "Season of Mists".



 

###  Inside References

  * Strong Sad's first line refers to Strong Bad's speech in [love](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Love).



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't get the TMBG reference in the email. Oops.


	19. roxy dawson

##  Summary

Strong Sad meets with the fabulous Roxy Dawson for some navel gazing.

 **Cast(in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Roxy Dawson, Hysterical Woman

 

##  Transcript

**STRONG SAD:** Look at my emails, all you mighty, and despair. _{opens email}_

> Dear Mr. Strong Sad,  
> You are cordially invited to my mansion in Annapolis for a dinner party tonight st six.  
> Be there or be square.  
> Sincerely,  
> Roxy Dawson

**STRONG SAD:** _{reads email, stops at Annapolis part}_ Oh, the capital of Maryland since 1695, when Lord Baltimore's government was overthrown. _{Ding! A gold star appears briefly, with the words "A+". Strong Sad continues reading the email, pronucing "st" as "sit"}_ Wow, a party. I usually don't get invited to parties. I wasn't even invited to my surprise birthday party once. I'll just RSPCT and...

_{establishing shots of Annapolis: the State Capital, the Naval Academy, um, the State Capital again. Cut to a swank, modern dining room. Strong Sad enters. Roxy Dawson, a lithe andrgnyous figure in a tux, greets him}_

**ROXY DAWSON:** Why, hello Mr. Strong Sad, so good of you to come. You've meet your semi-creator, Hysterical Woman. _{gestures to a young woman in jeans and a t-shirt saying "Italia"}_

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Hi.

 **STRONG SAD:** I thought you were taller.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** You looked much shorter on my screen.

 **ROXY DAWSON:** Now for the cusine part of the evening.

_{Cut to later. The table is messy from a good meal. Everyone is drinking coffee.}_

**HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** That was a good meal. I've never had Argentinian-Japanese fushion cusine before.

 **STRONG SAD:** The beef sushi was surprisingly good.

 **ROXY DAWSON:** You all know what I called you here for.

 **STRONG SAD:** Um, no.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{to Strong Sad}_ Roxy Dawson is a high-paid consultant that I hired to help us out.

 **STRONG SAD:** How could you afford that?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** It turns out I had 42 billion dollars in loose change and uncashed checks.

_{Roxy Dawson brings out a video projector and turns out the lights. Projector shows a picture of the Strong Sad Email Icon}_

**ROXY DAWSON:** Of all the Other Character Emails, Strong Sad Emails is the most unpopular. _{projector shows a picture of a depressing graph}_ It's ratings are so low they're in the negative numbers. _{shows a picture of an overweight Goth girl and a skinny Emo boy}_ Only a handful of people are fans of this show, and most of them are Ms. G here. _{shows a picture of Hysterical Woman picking her nose, than changes back to the Strong Sad Email icon}_ Mr. Strong Sad, do you have any idea why your email show is so dismally unpopular?

_{Cut to Strong Sad}_

**STRONG SAD:** Because I'm Strong Sad?

 **ROXY DAWSON:** Wrong. _{shows a picture of Tampo}_ If a minor character from a video game can get Fanstuff of the Week, a Major Character like you should be I able to soar. After years of research...

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{confused}_ I hired you last week...

 **ROXY DAWSON:** We at Dawson Consultanting have come up with several problems, I mean, potential complients. Number one: No customized computer. _{show a slide saying "1. No pimpin' ride"}_ The readers don't know what kind of computer Mr. Strong Sad uses.

 **STRONG SAD:** I use an Amiga.

 **ROXY DAWSON:** What model? When was it built? What operating systen does it use?

 **STRONG SAD:** Um...

 **ROXY DAWSON:** It's as if Amiga was chosen simply for it's humorous obscurity. The reader doesn't know if you use a GUI or a text-based system, or how you acess your email, or even what your scroll button rap is.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Hey! There's a good reason for that!

 **ROXY DAWSON:** And what's your reason?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** I don't care.

 **ROXY DAWSON:** _{sighs}_ Moving on to the next item...the opening lines are unsatisfactor. _{shows a slide saying "2. Bad rappin'"}_ Note the following:
    
    
    STRONG SAD: Look at my emails, all you mighty, and despair.

 **STRONG SAD:** I have the strangest feeling of Deja Vu.

 **ROXY DAWSON:** You simply paraphased a line from the famous poem Ozymandias by Shelley. Compare with this line:
    
    
    1-UP: {singing} 1-Up, 1-Down! What's up in your town?

 **ROXY DAWSON:** Or this line:
    
    
    GUNHAVER: Chewy, chewy, chewy, candy bar e-mail.

 **ROXY DAWSON:** These are original lines, not bad paraphases. 1-Up and Gunhaver have gotten Fanstuff of the Week for a reason.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Do people really care about a minor thing like that?

 **ROXY DAWSON:** It looks bad that the creative Strong Sad is so unoriginal.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Well, I am rapidly running out poetry, but it's a tradition now, and I don't want to change.

 **ROXY DAWSON:** Fine, we'll move on. Number three: No interesting reading of the email, like in the orginal Strong Bad Emails. _{shows a slide saying "3. No sweet dissin'"}_

 **STRONG SAD:** Strong Bad has emails?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Well, Strong Sad does make mistakes, like the Japon thing or briangle or the Dis Countess of Bricks...

 **ROXY DAWSON:** All very dull examples. Anyway, as of late, Strong Sad simply reads the email without comment. He even ignored Ana Ng. How do you pronuces a name like that anyway.

 **STRONG SAD:** Easy: Ana Ng.

 **ROXY DAWSON:** Yes, I guess there are limits in a text based email, but you could still do more. Why don't you make fun of the emailers?

 **STRONG SAD:** But that would be out of character!

 **ROXY DAWSON:** Nobody cares, dear. Nobody cares. Number five: No storylines. _{shows a slide saying "4. No happenin' thangs"}_ You could read the emails out-of-order and not notice. Nothing happens from episode to episode. It's always just Strong Sad in his room.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** What about the B incident?

 **ROXY DAWSON:** So? Strong Sad goes lovesick in one episode, he's passed out in another, then he's fine the next. That's barely a rolling epic, wouldn't you say? What about exciting chases, or enemies, or going on adventures, or anything like that?

 **STRONG SAD:** Then when will I have time to answer my emails?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Yeah, storylines are kind of gimmicky.

 **ROXY DAWSON:** The gimmick you have isn't working. Number six: Too obscure. _{shows a slide saying "5. WTF?"}_ Your audience isn't familar with Angel Santurary or Sandman.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** I'm not that obscure.

 **ROXY DAWSON:** Maybe, but your audience isn't hipsters like you. They don't know who the heck Alan Moore or Harlan Ellison are supposed to be. Who the heck are you writing for?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** My siblings?

 **ROXY DAWSON:** You have no idea of what is marketable. My crack team of crack people have come up with a crack email to crack your shells.

_{Roxy plays the following email}_

**STRONG SAD:** email! email! all da timey! _{types "!!super ssmail!!"}_

> Dear stong sad,  
> how u be so short?  
> crapply crap,  
> Mitchell's crazy time machine

**STRONG SAD:** _{pronunces "stong" as "song", "crap" as "crab apple", and "tomato" as "to-mah-to"}_ omg noob! u cant spel! your machina aint as good as my MicroA1! surge111111!

 **BADDY:** bbooo!

 **STRONG SAD:** oh node, into space! To da mooooooon!1!11!

_{cut to Da Mooooon! Strong Sad phases in Star Trek style}_

**STRONG SAD:** wowsers, it's bonus stage!

 **PHIL ARGUS:** Hi, my name is...

 **JOEL DAWSON:** Noodles power my super new machine to time! Let's go!

_{Joel grabs Strong Sad and runs off with him}_

**PHIL ARGUS:** Nobody loves me.

_{Joel and Strong Sad are inside a space ship rocket}_

**JOEL DAWSON:** My clones will love you!

 **BADDY:** Eat my shorts!

 **STRONG SAD:** ay camabraba!

 **SCREEN:** To be continued...?

_{clip ends. Strong Sad and Hysterical Woman stare in horror}_

**ROXY DAWSON:** So, what do you think?

 **STRONG SAD:** That was horrible!

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Who made that, hyper-active 12 year olds?

 **ROXY DAWSON:** No, 11 year olds.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** I rather keep the old style than turn into that. Let's go, Strong Sad.

 **ROXY DAWSON:** Nobody defies Roxy Dawson. You have made an enemy today.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Yeah, whatever. _{to Strong Sad}_ Let's blow off some steam at Rehobath.

_{Cut to a beach. Hysterical Woman lies on a blanket in a swimsuit. Strong Sad sits under an umbrella wearing a hooded sweatshirt}_

**STRONG SAD:** Have I mentioned that I hate the beach?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** All the way up here. Why did you come?

 **STRONG SAD:** Beats me.

_{pause}_

**STRONG SAD:** What do you think Roxy Dawson is going to do to us?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Ahh, she probably won't take horrible revenge on us using her unlimited resourse due to our callous insult.

 **STRONG SAD:**...

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** I feel like a funnel cake.

_{the end}_

 

##  Easter Egg

  * Click on the beach umbrella for this message will appear:


    
    
    No offense to anyone, escept to the people I mean offense to.

 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Real World References

  * Strong Sad's first line, as mentioned before, is from the poem "Ozymandias".
  * "Sushi" is Japanese for vingered rice, but to gajin it means "raw stuff". Argentina is famous for its beef.
  * Ms. G refers to Hysterical Woman's real name.
  * Bonus Stage is another popular flash animation, done by Matt Wilson. The two main characters in that show are Phil Argus, a super-powered loser, and Joel Dawson, a hyper scientist.
  * Rehobath is a resort town on the Delaware coast.
  * Funnel cake is a fried treat covered in powered sugar, sometimes served with strawberries.



 

###  Wiki World/Inside References

  * Fanstuff of the Week is a semi-weekly prize given to popular wiki creations. Tampo, 1-Up, and Gunhavers' email shows have all gotten their own respective Fanstuff of the Week.
  * The B incident refers to the events in Love, Nothing, and The Love Song of Strong F. Sad.
  * Mitchell is a user who sent out emails to everyone about time traveling.



###  H*R References

  * Strong Sad revealed in his blog that he hates the beach.




	20. danger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gay as a slur

##  Summary

What's happening with Strong Sad?

**Cast(in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Various Army Brass, Dream of the Endless, The Eleven Year Olds

 

##  Transcript

**STRONG SAD:** _{singing}_ I see an email and I wanted painted black. _{opens email}_

> All your base are belong to us.  
> You have no chance of survival make your time.  
> Ha ha ha.

**STRONG SAD:** All your base are...what? That doesn't make any...

_{Strong Sad blops out of existences with a blopping noise. Cut to the Pentagon. Two Military Brass talk to each other}_

**BRASS 1#:** I just realized something.

**BRASS 2#:** What?

**BRASS 1#:** This place has five sides.

**BRASS 2#:** You've been working here for fifteen years and you just realized that?

**BRASS 3#:** This is so going on Overheard in the Pentagon dot com.

_{Cut to a white field of whiteness. Strong Sad blops in.}_

**STRONG SAD:** ...sense. _{pause}_ Ahh! Where the heck am I?

**DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** Beats me.

**STRONG SAD:** What are you doing here?

**DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** I was brought here by carbon monoxide.

**STRONG SAD:** _{slightly relieved}_ Oh, so blopping into this world was just an hallucation.

**DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** No, this world is real, or as real as a bizzare limbo can get. I'm just a fever dream created by your oxygen depravied mind.

**STRONG SAD:** I'm getting carbon monoxide poisoning in limbo?

**DREAM OF THE ENDLESS;** I don't know. Maybe it's your medication causing the problem. Talk to your doctor if you ever get out of this dimension. Ciao. _{disappears}_

**STRONG SAD:** So I guess I'm stuck here.

_{long pause}_

**STRONG SAD:** I wonder if this places gets email?

_{to be continued}_

 

##  Easter Eggs

  * Click on Strong Sad for this scene.



    _{Three 11 year old boys are crowded around a computer}_
     **BOY 1#:** All your base? That is so gay.
     **BOY 2#:** Shut up, Craig!

 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanations

  * The Pentagon scene was just filler, but the Easter Egg ties into the enfolding plot.
  * I hate using the word "gay' as a derogative term, but it fits too well in the conversation. Anyway, in a few years the word "gay" will change meaning again.



###  Real World References

  * Strong Sad's first line is from a song original done by the Beatles. Correct me if I'm wrong.
  * The email Strong Sad got was a quote from the English translation of the video game "Zero Wing". A few years back the line "All your base are belong to us" was a popular catchphase on the internet.
  * The Pentagon is the headquarters for the United States Department of Defense, and is located in Arlington, Virgina, arcoss the river from DC.
  * Overheard in the Pentagon is a references to the website[Overheard in New York](http://www.overheardinnewyork.com) and its sister site [Overheard in the Office](http://www.overheardintheoffice.com).
  * Dream of the Endless is from the graphic novel series "The Sandman" by Neil Gaiman. He appeared to Strong Sad before in [My half](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/My_half).




	21. peasantry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again gay as a slur

##  Summary

Strong Sad gets medievel.

**Cast(in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Rather Dashing, Innkeeper, Trogdor and the Trogdorettes, Mysterious Female Voice, The Eleven Year Olds

 

##  Transcript

_{Strong Sad continues to sit in the same white field he was in last email}_

**STRONG SAD:** I feel like such a Nowhere man, a real boob.

_{Suddenly, an old-fashioned art noveuo style typewritter appears in front of him.}_

**STRONG SAD:** What?

_{He pushes a button on it and a typed letter pops out}_

> Dear Strong Sad,  
> You're probably the smartest character  
> in Free Country, USA. I heard that  
> you have a brother named Strong Glad.  
> Is this true?  
> Curiouser and curiouser,  
> Alice  
> Wonderland

**STRONG SAD:** _{reads greeting and first line}_ I'm not in Free Country anymore. I wonder if I'm the smartest person here. I don't feel very smart right now. _{reads the rest}_ I'm like Alice in Wonderland too, or at least Alice if Lewis Carroll had severe brain damage. I guess I should type a response. _{typing}_ Dear Alice Liddell, I don't have a brother named Strong Glad, but I have a cousin on my father's side named Strong Glad. She probably wouldn't like you mistaking her for a boy. I haven't seen her in a long time, so she may actually be a boy now and wouldn't mind. I hope this message gets to you, but it probably won't. Sincerely, Strong Sad. _{stops typing}_

_{After Strong Sad finishes typing, the paper flies off. Strong Sad chases it into a green meadow. He then stops and looks around.}_

**STRONG SAD:** Where the heck am I now? _{looks around}_ Hmmm, _{looks at a lake with a lady throwing swords at a king}_ feudal system of government, _{looks at a ruined colliseium with a sign saying "Closed Indefinetly}_ de-urbanization, and _{looks up at sky, which looks like a messed-up clockwork planetarium}_ a Ptolmeic cosmology! I'm in the Middle Ages! _{looks over at a big sign saying "Peasantry: If you could read this, you'd be a monk right now"}_ In the ancient Kingdom of Peasantry! Good thing I had my Babelfish surgically implanted into my ear.

_{Strong Sad walks along until he finds the village. Rather Dashing is leaning on the town well}_

**STRONG SAD:** It's Rather Dashing, the hero of Peasantry.

**RATHER DASHING:** Blow off, ye fat pig. I ain't no hero. Now I'll be off to Scalding Lake before the locust season starts.

**STRONG SAD:** _{sighs}_ Another illusion destroyed.

_{Strong Sad walks into an inn. The old man from the Peasant's Quest game is behind the counter}_

**STRONG SAD:** Um, Mister Innkeeper, where are the facilities?

**INNKEEPER:** Don't go out tonight, it's bound to take your life. There's a bathroom on the right.

**STRONG SAD:** _{looks over at disgustingly filthy outhouse}_ I think I'll just use those thorn bushes instead. _{leaves}_

**INNKEEPER:** Hey, leave my thorn crop alone! Oh well, Trogdor will eat him.

_{Five minutes later. Cut to Strong Sad sitting on a tree stump}_

**STRONG SAD:** It's nice to be somewhere. Maybe I'll just live here, far away from brothers. Always teasing or beating me and playing loud music or yelling about Trogdor....wait a minute...

_{the sun suddenly goes down}_

**STRONG SAD:** Trogdor?

**TROGDOR:** In the scales.

_{Strong Sad turns around to see a giant Trogdor with several smaller trogdors. They start dancing and singing}_

**TROGDOR:** _{singing}_ Don't you want to know why I keep starting fires? It's my desire!

**TROGDORETTES:** _{singing}_ It's my desire!

**TROGDOR:** _{singing}_ It's my desire!

**STRONG SAD:** That's the most horrifing musical number I've ever seen.

**TRODGOR:** Time to die!

**STRONG SAD:** Ahhhhh! _{runs off}_ I can't stay here, I'll die! Plus, The Cure won't be around for another 700 years.

_{A cell phone rings. Strong Sad stops}_

**STRONG SAD:** That's a creative anachronism. _{picks up cell phone}_ Hello?

**FEMALE VOICE:** _{over phone}_ I'm here to help, Strong Sad. Hold on.

**STRONG SAD:** How are you going to help...

_{Trogdor catches up with Strong Sad and just as he's about to roast him...}_

**STRONG SAD:** ...me? _{disappears}_

**TROGDOR:** Shoot! I'll just burn that short pant guy's house.

_{to be continued}_

##  Easter Egg

  * Click on the spot where Strong Sad used to be for the following scene.



    _{The three kids from the[Danger easter egg](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Danger#Easter_Egg) sit around a computer.}_
     **BOY #3:** Hey! Some chick stole Strong Sad before he could get burniated!
     **BOY #1:** I bet she's hot.
    _{A girl of the same age enters the room}'_
     **GIRL:** All the same, we must kill her for interfering.
     **BOY #2:** You're just jealous.
     **GIRL:** No I'm not, gaywad!

  * Click on Trogdor to see him and the Trogdorettes perform the rest of "Fire in the Disco".



 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanations

  * To understand how Strong Sad got into that white field, read [Danger](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Danger).



 

###  H*R References

  * Strong Glad is from a sketch the Brothers Chap made of Strong Sad with killer gams. Why this character would be male is beyond me.
  * The Kingdom of Peasantry is from the two Trogdor games and the movie trailer. Rather Dashing is the hero of the second Trogdor game, Peasant's Quest. This email takes place before he goes off to Scalding Lake. The game Peasant's Quest starts when he comes home to find his hut destroyed by Trogdor.



###  Real World References

  * Strong Sad's first line refers to a character in the animated movie "The Yellow Submarine". In the movie, the Beatles meet a strange creature that lives in the middle of a white field and spouts intellectual sounding poetry. He gives the Beatles cards with his various names on them, one of these names being "boob". The Beatles then depress him with the song "Nowhere Man". They then take the creature on their adventures.
  * Alice Liddell is the full name the girl Alice from the Alice Books was based on. The line "Curiouser and curiouser" is from "Alice in Wonderland".
  * The lady in the lake throwing swords at a king is a references to the Anglo-Celtic legend of King Arthur. King Arthur is said to have recieved the famous sword Excaliber from the Lady in the Lake. Note: Excaliber is not the same as the Sword in the Stone, which made Arthur king.
  * Ptolemic cosmology is a model of the cosmos as seen by the astronomer Ptolemy. Basically, he believed that the Sun, the Moon, and all the planets revolved around the Earth. This lead to very complicated charts of the cosmos explaining why some planets seem to go backwards in their orbit then forwards again.
  * The Innkeeper is quoting a famous misheard line from the song "Bad Moon Rising" by Creedance Clearwater Revival. The real line is "Don't go out tonight, it's bond to take your life, there's a _bad moon_ on the rise."
  * Trogdor and the Trogdorettes are singing "Fire in the Disco" by Electric Six.
  * Strong Sad's line about creative anachronisms is a references to the Society of Creative Anachronism, which researchs and recreates pre-17th century European history.




	22. 20x6

##  Summary

Strong Sad goes to the future to escape danger. But is he really safe?

 **Cast(in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Female Voice, Stinkoman, 1-Up, The Eleven Year Olds(easter egg)

 

##  Transcript

_{Cut to a green field with very geometrical bushes. Strong Sad appears out of nowhere holding a cell phone}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{to phone}_ ...me? Wait, where am I now?

 **FEMALE VOICE:** _{over phone}_ I sent you X00 years into the future. Welcome to 20x6.

 **STRONG SAD:** 20x6? So, is the world an anarchic dystopia, a millitary dystopia, a bueracratic dystopia, or a world that seems to be a utopia until you realize everyone's brainwashed and/or robots?

 **FEMALE VOICE:** Couldn't the future be honest-to-good happy?

 **STRONG SAD:** Happy?

 **FEMALE VOICE:** Just see for yourself.

_{Strong Sad turns around and sees rounded skyscrapers, ala Stinkoman.}_

**STRONG SAD:** The future looks like a videogame.

 **FEMALE VOICE:** Probably because of the Japanese invasion. But I've said too much.

_{Strong Sad walks in city, watching Cyber-Gwen and a posse of Harujuku girls dance.}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{to phone}_ So how do I acess my email?

 **FEMALE VOICE:** You just think about it. In the year 20x6, you don't even need a computer to connect to the internet.

 **STRONG SAD:** What a brave new world. _{Strong Sad starts thinking, and opens this email}_
    
    
    Dear Strong Sad
    Seeming as everyone hates you, I like you.
    No, really! I am a fan! Strong Bad can eat crap.
    Because you are awesome!
    Your Good Friend,
    TotalSpaceshipGuy3

 **STRONG SAD:** _{speaking out loud, as if dictating}_ Dear One Hundred Percent Spaceship Guy to the power of three, comma, break, Thank you for the support, period. It is nice to have friends, comma, even if they are only on the internet and probably won't help you move or not get beaten by your psychotic brothers, end run-on sentences. Also, comma, Strong Bad, captialize proper name, does eat crap, period. His diet is filled with preservatives and monosodium glut-cake, spell check, period. I have a more healthy diet, comma, or at least I would if I didn't eat my own weight in Nutella, don't spell check, it's Italian, each day, period. I guess we all have faults, and that's final, period. Break, your friend from the future, comma break, Strong Sad. Miraclously send into past. _{pause}_ I didn't think so. That was a waste of time.

 **STINKOMAN:** _{off-screen}_ Whaaat is a waste of time? Is that a challenge type of time?

_{Strong Sad looks his right. He then looks down to see Stinkoman}_

**STRONG SAD:** You look familar.

 **STINKOMAN:** I'm Stinkoman, you dumb person. And this is Kidstar. _{points to 1-Up, to his right}_

 **1-UP:** _{cheerful}_ I'm 1-UP, and I like pudding! _{turns away, looks sad}_ Angst Journal Entry, 0X/0X/X6: Stinkoman keeps calling me Kidstar. Why can't I tell him how much it hurt when he tears me apart like a broken angel of the night. Is my innocent love doomed? Also, out of pudding.

_{Stinkoman and Strong Sad look over at 1-Up, then back at each other}_

**STINKOMAN:** So, grey dude, did you by your time waste comment think you could be bad enough to save the President?

 **STRONG SAD:** I don't know what you mean.

 **STINKOMAN:** Then it's fiiiight time! _{jumps and powers up}_ Doouuuuble Deuce!!!!!

_{Stinkoman tries to smash Strong Sad, but Strong Sad runs away. I picks up the phone he had through out the scene but wasn't mentioned again}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{to phone}_ Get me out of here!

 **FEMALE VOICE:** I can't! I'm not in control of you any more!

 **STINKOMAN:** I'll chase you forever, plump one!

 **1-UP:** It's true, he will! _{sad}_ But he always forgets anniversaries.

 **STRONG SAD:** Chased by a badly dubbed robot for the rest of my life! How could things get any... _{disappears}_

_{Stinkoman and 1-Up stop. Long pause.}_

**STINKOMAN:** Let's get pudding!

 **1-UP:** I love you!!!

_{to be continued}_

 

##  Easter Egg

  * Click on 1-Up to see his Angst Blog.
  * Click on Stinkoman for the following Easter Egg.



    _{The Eleven Year Olds are around the computer}_
     **ALL:** Yes! We did it! Awesome!
     **BOY #2:** Actually, I wish we could have stayed in Stinkoman world longer. That place was cool.
     **BOY #3:** _{punches Boy #2}_ Shut up, Kevin.

 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  H*R References

  * The world of 20x6 is based on the Strong Bad Email [japanese cartoon](http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/japanese_cartoon) and the game it spawned, along with my own twisted imagination.
  * Before 1-Up's name was known, he was dubbed Kidstar. Kidstar is a combination of Homestar Runner (as 1-Up is the 20x6 version of him) and the "you're just a kid" remark Stinkoman made in their debut.



 

###  Inside References

  * This email is part of a continuing plot-line that started with [Danger](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Danger).



 

###  Real World References

  * Dystopia is the opposite of utopia: a nightmare vision of the world. Dystopias, in popular culture and literature, are usually set in the future.
  * Cyber-Gwen is based on the American singer Gwen Stefani, who recently fell in love with Harajuku culture.
  * Harajuku is the name for the area around Harajuku Station in Tokyo, Japan. This area is famous for being a youth hangout where people dress in outrageous outfits.
  * "What a brave new world" refers to the novel "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley, about a dystopian future where people are genetically engineered and controlled via hypnotic phrases and numbing drugs.
  * Strong Sad meant "monosodium glutamate" or "MSG", which is a type of flavor enhancer. It really is only unhealthy if you're allergic to it.
  * Nutella is an insanely addictive chocolate and hazelnut spread from Italy. You can get it in the States now.
  * 1-Up's Angst Journal is a parody of Live Journal.
  * The line "Bad enough to save the President" is from the video game "Bad Dudes". The President in question is Ronald Reagen, so you would have to be pretty bad to save him.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we are in 20x6.


	23. comicworld

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gay as slur

##  Summary

Strong Sad goes to a very dangerous world, and finds out he's not Brad Pitt.

 **Cast(in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Female Voice, What's Her Face, Cheerleader, So-and-So, The Ugly One, Arrow'd Guy, The Eleven Year Olds

 

##  Transcript

_{Cut to a piece of lined school paper. Strong Sad materializes into this world as a pencil drawing. He is holding a cell phone.}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{to phone}_ ...worse. Oh good, you transported me somewhere else.

 **FEMALE VOICE:** _{on phone}_ Not exactly. Now, don’t panic...

 **STRONG SAD:** _{panicking}_ I’m gonna die!

 **FEMALE VOICE:** _{on phone}_ I told you not to panic. Anyway, the force controlling you has sent you into this poorly drawn cartoon world. This is a very dangerous place, but as long as you stay away from the main cast, you’ll be all right.

 **STRONG SAD:** Whose the main cast?

 **FEMALE VOICE:** Four teenage girls.

 **STRONG SAD:** Don’t worry then. Girls avoid me already.

 **FEMALE VOICE:** Oh, that’s probably not true. Anyway, just hang out. There’s only a 69,251,191,194 to 1 chance that you’ll actually meet them, since this world is so big and mostly made of world history notes. I’ll talk to you later.

 **STRONG SAD:** _{puts down phone, talks to self}_ 69,251,191,194....that number sounds familiar. Well, I might as well answer an email.

_{Strong Sad goes over to a drawing of a computer and opens up an email}_
    
    
    Dear
    STROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG
    SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD,
    I just made you waste all that time longly saying your name! HA HA!
    

**STRONG SAD:** Or maybe not. I get some pretty stupid emails sometimes. I’ll think I’ll just walk around.

_{Strong Sad walks along a poorly drawn city street, with famous battles of World War I written along the skyline. A few poorly drawn trucks and tanks go down the street, destroying caricatures of teachers.}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{walking while looking around}_ This is like Cool World, except with better animation and a tighter plotline. I didn’t need to panic...

_{Strong Sad bumps into someone running and falls down. He looks over to see What’s Her Face sprawled on the ground. He gets up and helps her up. They look into each others eyes, then look away quickly}_

**WHAT’S HER FACE:** _{looking at ground}_ Um, thank you, anonymous.

 **STRONG SAD:** _{also looking at ground}_ Thank you, I mean, your welcome.

 **FEMALE VOICE:** _{over phone}_ Strong Sad!

 **WHAT’S HER FACE:** Um, I’m sorry I ran into you.

 **STRONG SAD:** I don’t mind. I fall down a lot anyway.

 **FEMALE VOICE:** _{over phone}_ STRONG SAD!!!

 **WHAT’S HER FACE:** So, is that girl yelling at you your girlfriend?

 **STRONG SAD:** No, she’s nobody, don’t worry!

 **FEMALE VOICE:** _{over phone}_ Strong Sad....

 **STRONG SAD:** _{to phone}_ I’ll talk to you later.

 **FEMALE VOICE:** _{over phone}_ But she’s...

_{Strong Sad closes the phone}_

**STRONG SAD:** So, do you like They Might Be Giants?

_{Before she can answer, Cheerleader and So-And-So come running down the street}_

**CHEERLEADER:** Hey! We need you to test these animal-not-tested cosmetics!

 **SO-AND-SO:** Yeah, The Ugly One died already. _{holds up a cage with a mouse with The Ugly Ones head on it}_

 **THE UGLY ONE:** I feel pretty...dead.

 **WHAT’S HER FACE:** Hide me! _{runs behind Strong Sad}_

 **CHEERLEADER:** What’s up, Mister Anno-ne, anno-ne, _{pause}_ Maus.. Guy.

 **STRONG SAD:** My name is Strong Sad.

 **SO-AND-SO:** We’re the...

 **CHEERLEADER and SO-AND-SO:** Teen Girl Squad!

 **THE UGLY ONE:** _{simultaneously}_ Mostly Dead Squad!

 **CHEERLEADER:** We’re looking for our fourth member.

 **STRONG SAD:** Wait, so you’re four teenage girls? I think I’ll leave now.

_{Strong Sad sidesteps away, revealing What’s Her Face}_

**WHAT’S HER FACE:** _{to Strong Sad}_ Traitor!

_{Cut to Strong Sad running away. The Teen Girl Squad runs after him}_

**STRONG SAD:** At least I’m getting a lot of exercise lately. _{opens phone}_

 **FEMALE VOICE:** I hate to say that I told you...

 **STRONG SAD:** But you didn’t tell me so.

 **FEMALE VOICE:** I was going to! Any way, try not to die.

 **STRONG SAD:** Try not to die?

 **FEMALE VOICE:** Yeah, it would be really inconvenient if you died.

 **CHEERLEADER:** _{to Strong Sad}_ Hey, you!

 **WHAT’S HER FACE:** Why are we chasing him?

 **SO-AND-SO:** Because he’s running. Like, duh!

 **THE UGLY ONE:** _{now on Lil’ Brudder’s body}_ I’m going to be a quarterback one day!

_{The Arrow’d Guy (also known as The Man With The Big Mouth) dressed as an American football player falls on top of her.}_

**ARROW’D GUY:** No you’re not!

 **THE UGLY ONE:** Ow, my self-esteem!

 **WHAT’S HER FACE:** Not this again.

_{A sperm whale with the words “Copyright Infringement” falls on What’s Her Face}_

**SO-AND-SO:** Just like Moby Dick!

_{A bowl of petunias falls on her. Cut to Strong Sad and Cheerleader looking over at the mess.}_

**CHEERLEADER:** Oops.

 **STRONG SAD:** _{angry}_ Why is this happening to me! What is going on! Who is controlling me! Oh, I don’t care, I’m leaving.

_{Strong Sad walks off out of the lined paper world and on to an elevated highway at night}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{turns around}_ Huh?

 **FEMALE VOICE:** Strong Sad, what did you do?

_{to be continued}_

##  Easter Egg

  * Click on the cell phone to see yet another scene with The Eleven Year Olds.



    _{The Eleven Year Olds look at the computer sadly.}_
     **BOY #3:** We're so screwed.
     **GIRL:** No, Jamie, we are not screwed. For Strong Sad is still trapped, and our Mistress's power is greater than this interlopers.
     **BOY #1:** You sound so gay, Megan.
     **GIRL:** Girls can't be gay!

 

##  Fun Facts

###  H*R References

  * The Teen Girl Squad original appeared in the Strong Bad Email [comic](http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/comic) and later became a feature on the site. The world that the Teen Girl Squad lives in is unnamed, so for the purpose of this email I gave it the name Comicworld.
  * Lil' Brudder is a one-legged puppy who first appeared in the Strong Bad Email [crying](http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/crying) as a depressing drawing. He later got his own television show. "I'm going to be quarterback one day" is one of his lines.
  * Strong Sad is called "Anonymous" in this email as a reference to [Anonymous](http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/Anonymous) from the Strong Bad Email [rock opera](http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/rock_opera).



 

###  Inside References

  * As I've mentioned before, to have a vague idea of what's going on, you have to read [Danger](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Danger).
  * Strong Sad's line about exercise refers to all the emails lately where he is running.



 

###  Real World References

  * Coolworld was a 1992 animated movie about a cartoon world. Brad Pitt was in this movie, hence the above summary.
  * 69.251.191.194 is Hysterical Woman's IP address.
  * They Might Be Giants is an alternative band. Strong Sad did a music video for them.
  * The sperm whale, the petunias, and What's Her Face's line before she died are all references to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.



 

###  Trivia

  * With this email, all of The Eleven Year Olds names are know.
  * This is the first time Strong Sad has closed the cell phone. Don't ask how he could talk to the Female Voice without redialing.




	24. the outskits

##  Summary

Strong Sad escapes the 

**Cast(in order of appearence): Strong Sad, Female Voice, Dream of the Endless, The Eleven Year Olds**

 

##  Transcript

_{Cut to an elevated highway at night. Strong Sad looks out into the night. He is holding a cell phone}_

**FEMALE VOICE:** _{over phone}_ Strong Sad, what did you just do?

 **STRONG SAD:** _{to phone, slightly stunned}_ I just really wanted to leave...and I did.

 **FEMALE VOICE:** You changed dimensions at will?

 **STRONG SAD:** I guess I did. I wish I knew I had the power to do that before, like in middle school.

 **FEMALE VOICE:** Well, you transported yourself to The Outskirts of Reality. The exit to our world isn’t very far. Put the cell phone on the ground.

_{Strong Sad puts the cell phone on the ground. The phone starts to vibrate, then twitch, then expand until it turns into a pink 1987 Toyota Corolla. Strong Sad gets into the driver seat.}_

**FEMALE VOICE:** _{over car radio}_ Good. Now drive start ahead to reach our world.

 **STRONG SAD:** But I can’t drive!

 **FEMALE VOICE:** Um, you’ve seen people drive before?

 **STRONG SAD:** Of course.

 **FEMALE VOICE:** Just imitate them.

 **STRONG SAD:** Okay. _{Strong Sad grabs the wheel and looks intense for a moment}_ Ah, how do I make it go?

 **FEMALE VOICE:** _{sighs}_ The key is in the glove compartment. Put it in the ignition thingy and turn it till the car turns on.

_{Strong Sad does this, and then press down on the accelerator. The car speeds forward, so Strong Sad freaks out and slams on the breaks.}_

**DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** _{suddenly in the passenger side}_ Jeez, even Delirium is a better driver then you.

 **STRONG SAD:** When are you going to stop popping up like this?

 **DREAM OF THE ENDLESS:** When I stop being sexy. _{gleaming smile}_

 **STRONG SAD:** You are so out of character.

_{Dream disappears}_

**FEMALE VOICE:** I think I’ll drive myself.

_{The car begans to drive at un-Corolla like speeds down the highway. Strong Sad clutches his seat.}_

**STRONG SAD:** Ahhh! You’re going over the speed limit!

 **FEMALE VOICE:** Strong Sad, whose going to stop us?

 **STRONG SAD:** The millions of black cars behind us?

_{Cut to the rearview mirror, which shows a million black cars behind them}_

**FEMALE VOICE:** Oh, great.

_{Cut to The Eleven Year Olds}_

**BOY #2:** I’m so 1337 with racing. He’s getting smashed!

 **GIRL:** She wants him alive, Kevin.

 **BOY #2:** Um, how alive?

 **BOY #3:** _{hit Boy #2}_ Alive, alive!

_{Cut back to Strong Sad}_

**FEMALE VOICE:** We’ll just have outmaneuver them.

 **STRONG SAD:** In an ancient Corolla?

 **FEMALE VOICE:** What are you, Car  & Truck Magazine now? You can’t even drive!

_{The black cars start to catch up, but the Corolla speeds up. Black cars then appear in front of the Corolla, speeding towards it. The Corolla zags through the cars, but keeps getting bashed up. Finally, it gains the lead with the rest of the cars behind it. The Corolla starts to slow down as it goes up hill, but the black cars are at the same speed. A giant black truck appears with the rest of the cars.}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{holding full paper bag and looking sick}_ We’re going to get smashed! _{vomits into bag)_

 **FEMALE VOICE:** No, we aren’t, because they forgot the number one rule of car chases: the ramp!

_{The Corolla then glids off the ramp, while the rest of the cars falls into the night. The Corolla lands on safe highway with a great bump}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{shell-shocked}_ I’m sterile now.

 **FEMALE VOICE:** We’re safe now. You’re almost home.

 **STRONG SAD:** I’m sorry I haven’t asked this earlier, but who are you?

 **FEMALE VOICE:** Don’t you recognize me? I’m your cousin Strong Glad!

 **STRONG SAD:** Well, it haven’t seen you since I was twelve. So how’s my Uncle Rad?

 **STRONG GLAD:** He’s still a jerk. How are you’re brothers?

 **STRONG SAD:** Sadistic, unemployed, living with me.

_{A huge shining CGI castle appears over to the left. It looks like a beautiful dream that only Mad King Ludwig ever dream. Strong Sad stares at it}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{amazed}_ So that’s where the budget went.

 **STRONG GLAD:** The exits coming up.

 **STRONG SAD:** Where?

 **STRONG GLAD:** Here!

_{The Corolla drives right into the castle. The Corolla crash into the room where The Eleven Year Olds are. Strong Sad gets out of the car}_

**GIRL:** Kevin! You were supposed to stop them, gaywad!

 **STRONG GLAD:** They were the ones controlling you all this time! You must defeat them!

 **STRONG SAD:** Me and against some kids? Isn’t that a little un-

_{The Eleven Year Olds jump on him and bring him down. Strong Sad struggles in vain against them}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{thinking}_ This is embarrassing. How will I get out of this? What do eleven year olds fear? {out-loud} I’m gay!

 **BOYS:** Ewwww! _{run away}_

 **STRONG SAD:** _{Gets up, looks at remaining girl}_ Why are you still here?

 **GIRL:** I’m not homophobic, like my immature collegue.

 **STRONG SAD:** Then why do you call them gay?

 **GIRL:** _{angry}_ I meant the other gay! _{calmer}_ Anyway, it’s not us you want. We were just following Roxy Dawson’s orders.

 **STRONG SAD:** So Roxy Dawson is behind this. I must stop her. Um, after I read my emails.

_{Strong Sad goes over to the computer and opens an email}_
    
    
    To Strong Sad,
    If you were a critic,
    I'd bet you'd rate yourself 6 out of 10 stars.
    Remember, you're not that bad,
    but then again, you're not too good either.
    You're still a great person though.
    -MARS KAY STRACKS AGAINZORS    
    PS - No, really, Mars Kay is my name.

**STRONG SAD:** _{reads email, say Mary Kay instead of Mars Kay, starts typing}_ Dear Mary Kay, If I was a critic, I would rate myself only three stars. Luckily, I’m not a critic, but unfortunately, I’m Strong Sad. Also, I do not need any make-up, unless you carry black lipstick, which you probably don’t. Sincerely, Strong Sad. _{sends email}_ Time to go and defeat Roxy.

 **GIRL:** If you're gay, does that mean my Strong Sad/Homsar fics aren’t technically slash?

 **STRONG SAD:** What?

 **GIRL:** Never mind. Good luck

 **STRONG SAD:** _{leaving}_ I hate good luck.

_{The End}_

##  Easter Egg

  * Click on the Corolla for this scene.



    _{Cut to Strong Glad (whatever she looks like) in a pink bedroom with tons of computers and phones}_
     **STRONG GLAD:** Ahh, I helped my cousin Strong Sad. Now to help Aunt Beatrice escape from the Planet of the Apes.
     **OLD WOMAN:** _{over phone}_ Hello?
     **STRONG GLAD:** On second thought, maybe I need some Me Time.
     **OLD WOMAN:** _{over phone}_ Oh, hoodysnicker!

 

##  Fun Facts

###  H*R References

  * The year 1987 is a running gag in the H*R world.
  * Strong Glad comes from a sketch the Brothers Chap did of Strong Sad with great gams.



 

###  Real World References

  * This email is a hommage to the end of "Adolescene of Utena", my favorite movie.



*****SPOILER***** At the end of this movie, after Utena has truly won the Rose Bride Anthy, she decides to go to the Real World. Suddenly, a giant carwash pulls her in and turns her into a pink race car. Anthy must use this Utena car to drive to the Real World. The millions of black cars and the big CGI castle are from this part, along with the idea of driving a car to the Real World.

  * The Toyota Corolla is a popular type of sedan. I probably made tons of mistakes this email about the car's performance. Feel free to send me a 100 page thesis on this.
  * Dream of the Endless is from the graphic novel "Sandman". In "Brief Lives", his sister Delirium tries driving, with comedic results.
  * Mary Kay is a brand of cosemetics sold door to door.
  * Slash is fanfiction which pairs two or more normally straight characters together romantically. People debate wheather it can still be slash if the characters are openly gay, ex. Will and Jack from the American TV show "Will and Grace". Most slash is written by women.
  * It's bad luck to say "good luck" in theater. Hysterical Woman just hates the phrase anywhere.
  * "Escape from the Planet of the Apes" is a song by They Might Be Giants, and also a movie in the "Planet of the Apes" series.



 

###  Inside References

  * This is the beginning of the end of this story arc. Since [Danger](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Danger), Strong Sad has been transported from dimension to dimension. His only help has been a calm female voice from a cell phone. This voice has turned out to be his cousin Strong Glad.
  * Interestingly enough, Strong Glad first appeared in [Peasantry](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Peasantry), which had an email of someone asking about her.
  * This is the third time Dream has appeared, hence Strong Sad's comment.




	25. roxy deux

##  Summary 

Zzzzz....huh? Oh yeah, this. Strong Sad confronts Roxy Dawson.

 **Cast(in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Announcer, Henchmen, Hysterical Woman, Roxy Dawson

 

##  Transcript 

_{Strong Sad walks out of a room into an elegant, contemporary styled hallway.}_

**ANNOUNCER:** Last time on Strong Sad Email...

_{Strong Sad looks around, trying to find the source of the sound}_

**ANNOUNCER:** Strong Sad managed to escape from his endless odyssey, only to find the culprit behind his torments: Roxy Dawson, an embittered consultant hired to spice up Strong Sad Email. Can Strong Sad survive La Maison de Roxy and defeat the cruel professional, or will he perish? Find out!

_{Henchmen (wearing a black turtleneck, black jeans, and white sneakers) walks up to Strong Sad}_

**HENCHMEN:** Are you one of the new recruits?

 **STRONG SAD:** Um, yes.

 **HENCHMEN:** Ms. Dawson prefers her employees to wear the uniform, instead of walking around naked. I’ll go get you a uniform.

_{Cut to later. Strong Sad is dressed in a henchmen’s uniform}_

**HENCHMEN:** Oh, and remember, Sherri’s birthday party is at 4.

 **STRONG SAD:** Dang, I forgot to get a gift.

 **HENCHMEN:** Ooo, that’s bad. She’ll get you for that. _{leaves}_

 **STRONG SAD:** Time to go buy Sherri a gift! I mean, defeat Roxy.

_{Cut to Strong Sad climbing a spiral staircase, with an employees’ handbook.}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{out of breath}_ Why couldn’t she put her penthouse in the basement?

_{He walks onto the top landing and into her empty office, decorated in a tastiful jade green, with a huge window overlooking a generic city at night.}_

**STRONG SAD:** It figures. I go all this way and she’s not here.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{off-screen}_ Hey! In here!

 **STRONG SAD:** Huh?

_{He follows the voice to a room off of the office. Inside the room in Hysterical Woman, in a prison cell.}_

**STRONG SAD:** You’ve been here all this time? But I thought you wrote these...

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Would you just the post-modern implications of this and let me out?

 **STRONG SAD:** Just a minute...

 **ROXY DAWSON:** Hey!

_{Strong Sad turn to Roxy Dawson, who is standing in the doorway}_

**ROXY DAWSON:** _{holding up a mug}_ I asked for a sugar substitute, not sugar!

 **STRONG SAD:** It’s me, Strong Sad.

 **ROXY DAWSON:** And I want skim milk, not whole! How am I supposed to keep my lithe, androgynous figure with this stuff?

 **STRONG SAD:** I’m your nemesis!

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Nows your chance! Kill her!

 **STRONG SAD:** _{dramatic}_ I could never...kill...anyone... (except in certain fanfics).

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Well, then hurt her or something! Just stop her!

 **STRONG SAD:** Ummm...

 **ROXY DAWSON:** Wait, you’re that angriest elephant kid I’ve been tormenting. Guards!

_{Fade out and fade back in, with Strong Sad in the cell with Hysterical Woman. Roxy Dawson looks at them with contempt}_

**ROXY DAWSON:** You thought you were my nemesis, Strong Sad? You thought wrong. I have a bigger nemesis...the biggest nemesis of them all...God! God didn’t like my advice either, so I’m going to destroy God and recreate the World in my own image! There is nothing you can do to stop me! Hahahahahaha!

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** {to Strong Sad} Nice going. Why did you come all this way to mess up? You’re just as stupid as that guy from the short “Stink Bomb”.

 **ROXY DAWSON:** _{in pain}_ No! Don’t say that!

 **STRONG SAD:** What, you don’t like Katsuhiro Otomo?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{to Strong Sad}_ I think she hates obscure anime references.

 **STRONG SAD:** Like “Tenshitachi no Shinkaron”?

 **ROXY DAWSON:** Arghhh!!!!

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** (Insert obscure anime reference)

 **STRONG SAD:** (Insert another obscure anime reference)

 **ROXY DAWSON:** DO NOT WANT!

_{Roxy Dawson explodes in a budget-destroying explosion.}_

**HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Well, that was a great ending. Got any money for a Greyhound?

 **ANNOUNCERS:** So, our brave heroes went home after a job well done. Hysterical Woman went back to Maryland, and Strong Sad went back to Free Country USA.

_{Cut to Strong Sad at the computer}_

**STRONG SAD:** Time for another email. _{opens his email}_

> Dear Strong Sad,  
> Without making any obscure references (I listened  
> to Roxy Dawson), why not go on an action-packed  
> adventure that'll evolve into a storyline? After all,  
> your email show could be more popular, and more  
> people will like you! And they can diss Strong Bad!  
> I don't like Strong Bad these days. He's getting  
> BORING!  
> From,  
> Shim-Sham-Sam

**STRONG SAD:** _{just stares for a long time}_ .......

_{A scream is heard over the Strong Household.}_

_{The end}_

##  Easter Egg

  * Wait for this scene:



    _{Strong Bad standing by Strong Sad's door.}_
     **STRONG BAD:** Fatty _again_ isn't going to do his performance art junket 'cause he threw his computer out the window for some reason. Don't ask me why. I'm not his therapist or nothing.

  * Click on the concept of computers for this scene.



    _{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. On the counter is Strong Sad's busted computer. A female skunk walks up to the stand.}_
     **SKUNK:** Hey, is that an Amiga?

 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanation

  * This is the finale of a storyline that started with the email [danger](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Danger).
  * This episode was two years in the making! Doesn't it show?
  * This is the end of the season, and the road.
  * Yes, Strong Sad is naked.



 

###  H*R References

  * The fate of Strong Sad's computer is similar to that of Strong Bad's computer.



 

###  Inside References

  * Roxy Dawson was a consultant hired by [Hysterical Woman](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:Hysterical_Woman&action=edit&redlink=1) in email [roxy dawson](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Roxy_Dawson) to improve Strong Sad Emails. She and Strong Sad however refused her advice.
  * Strong Sad has met before Hysterical Woman, namely in [naked?](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Naked%3F) and [roxy dawson](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Roxy_Dawson).
  * The (insert anime reference) is just way of getting around a writer's block.



###  Real World References

  * The henchmen dress like stagehands.
  * "Certain fanfics" refers to the story "A Visit with Strong Sad", writing by me.
  * Katsuhiro Otomo is a Japanese anime director, famous for the movie "Akira". He also produced a collection of short animations called "Memories", which included a piece called "Stink Bomb".
  * I don't really remember where I got "Tenshitachi no Shinkaron" from. Google says it's about a sexless robot. Good for them.
  * "Do not want" is a 4chan meme. It came from a Chinese bootleg, where Darth Vader's "Nooooo!" was translated as "Do not want!"
  * Greyhound is a bus company.
  * The skunk is Sabrina of Sabrina Online fame. She and her creator are Amiga fans, for some unknown reason.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for extras!


	26. documentary: commentary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Extra for [Chapter 14: documentary](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7694896/chapters/17532559)

##  Summary

The commentary for the Strong Sad Email [Documentary](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Documentary), with Strong Sad and Hysterical Woman

 

##  Transcript

_{On-screen: Strong Sad says his opening line and checks his email}_

**STRONG SAD:** Hello, my name is Strong Sad.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** And my name is Hysterical Woman, his creator.

 **STRONG SAD:** No you aren't. The Brothers Chap created me.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** But I created this version of you. You are my interpetation of the character of Strong Sad.

 **STRONG SAD:** Um, okay.

_{On-screen: Strong Sad reads the email}_

**HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** I had encountered Josh before this email. He had deleted the words "shitake mushroom" from a previous email.

 **STRONG SAD:** Probably because you spelled it wrong. It's "shiitake".

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Yeah, I know that now. I just thought he was being over-zealous. But anyway, that's what the Easter Egg with Bubs is about.

 **STRONG SAD:** I thought it was a commentary on Buddhism in the Kamakura Era myself.

_{On-screen: Strong Sad begins to answer}_

**HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** This email was originally going to be called "cheat", but than I decided only the email was really about the Cheat.

 **STRONG SAD:** Yeah, I really diverted the topic, but what else is there to say about my relationship to the Cheat? He only likes my brothers.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** I hear the Cheat is secretly dating Marzipan.

 **STRONG SAD:** What? Marzipan would never cheat on _{sighs}_ her boyfriend.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Keep the faith, Strong Sad.

_{On-screen: Begining on Experimental Film}_

**HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** One of the stagehands forgot to put the television on the set earlier, so someone had to wheel it in later.

 **STRONG SAD:** Weirdly enough, you wrote for me to say that the television came out of nowhere. I don't ab-lib.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Yeah, you even try to pronounce my mispellings, no matter how horrible.

 **STRONG SAD:** We actually made this documentary just for the email. I wished they would make a real documentary of Experimental Film.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** You sound disappointed about the film in this scene. Were you?

 **STRONG SAD:** Yeah, but they didn't let me explain. They cut me off like people always...

 **Hysterical Woman:** _{interrupting}_ Oh, my favorite scene's coming up!

_{On-Screen: TMBG Interview}_

**HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Originally I was going to have the interviewer say that she though that TMBG are a dorky one-trick gimmick band.

 **STRONG SAD:** You don't believe that, do you?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** I pled the fifth. Anyway, I like this idea better. Orginally, one of the song the interviewer would ask about was that Beck song, what's it called, _{snaps fingers anxiously}_ with the monkey in chimpanzee times, and shaving your face with mace...

 **STRONG SAD:** "I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me?"

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{motherly}_ Strong Sad, have you taken your medicine?

 **STRONG SAD:** Do you like TMBG?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Oh, you shouldn't care about my taste in music. I used to like Evanessences.

 **STRONG SAD:** I like Evanessences!

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Oops...

_{On-screen: Clips from "stand-up"}_

**STRONG SAD:** You know, after that day, Strong Bad stopped wearing underwear, in case his pants fall down.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Then if his pants fall down...no, that way leads to madness.

_{On-screen: Clip from vacation video}_

**HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Oh, I love Colonial Williamsburg! My family used to go down there all the time. I haven't gone there in a while, not in like three years. The place is an outdoor living museum, and there is great stuff to buy, not t-shirts and hats, and really great food like Brunswick stew, and...

 **STRONG SAD:** Aren't you talking a lot for a 15 second clip?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Don't worry, it's just text.

 **STRONG SAD:** This is so post-modern.

_{On-screen: The Cheat portion}_

**STRONG SAD:** The Cheat actually kept his promise. He hasn't knawed my face off.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Really? He's been nice to you?

 **STRONG SAD:** No, far from it. He's chewed my shins, flushed my manuscripts down the toilet, and stolen thousands of dollars from me. But he hasn't knawed my face off. He's a The Cheat of his word.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** I like the translator for The Cheat. Very lovely woman.

 **STRONG SAD:** Yeah, but she's wrong about what the Cheat said. That is physically possible.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Would you like to show her that?

 **STRONG SAD:** _{blushes}_

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** That was one loud blush.

_{On-screen: The Cheat shows animation}_

**STRONG SAD:** It actually was harder animating it than it looks here. It tooks hours to get a happy-looking version of me.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Why? You just turn that frown upside down.

 **STRONG SAD:** I once tried that. I had to go to the emergency room.

_{On-screen: Homestar's interview}_

**HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** It sounds like you and Homestar didn't get along.

 **STRONG SAD:** He wasn't even supposed to be in the movie!

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Than why was he on the payroll?

 **STRONG SAD:** Senor and Mr.Bland were on the payroll too, for that matter. I should have never left the Cheat in charge of that.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** I think your innocent trust in people is one of your best qualities.

 **STRONG SAD:** Really?

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Yes, and I have a bridge I'd like to sell you.

 **STRONG SAD:** I'm not that gullible.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Dang, I'll never get rid of that bridge now.

_{On-screen: Strong Bad's interview}_

**STRONG SAD:** Strong Bad is wrong about that orginal story. But I like his story.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** It's just a muddle of ideas he saw on TV.

 **STRONG SAD:** But if you change the setting to modern Estovia, change the characters to two Wiccan lesbians, and change the hoverbikes to those turn-of-the-century bikes with the big wheel...

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** That would not work on so many levels.

_{On-screen: Filming with Homsar}_

**STRONG SAD:** Oh, Homsar. I had high hopes for him.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** You were really rough on him in this scene.

 **STRONG SAD:** He did attend the Royal Shakespeare Academy. You would they would teach him the difference between "ahh" and "ohh".

_{On-screen: Strong Sad on being an actor/director}_

**HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** You got it wrong in this scene. Multiply Personality Disorder is now called Disassociative Idenity Disorder.

 **STRONG SAD:** I know. I've gotten 4,357 emails about that comment.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Really?

 **STRONG SAD:** Most of them were from myself, though.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** You must have an entry to yourself in the DSM, don't you?

_{On-screen: Interview with the Evil Studio Executive}_

**STRONG SAD:** I can't believe you got away with that in this scene.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** _{nervous}_ Away with what?

 **STRONG SAD:** Calling that studio executive evil.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Oh yeah, with that. Somebody crossed out the evil part for some reason, but I left it in.

 **STRONG SAD:** It looks good, though.

_{On-screen: End of email}_

**HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** I wish you hadn't stopped the tape early. That documentary went into some really great topics.

 **STRONG SAD:** But didn't you make me stop the tape early? After all, you created me.

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** No I didn't. The Brothers Chap created you.

 **STRONG SAD:** Wait, but didn't in the begining...

 **HYSTERICAL WOMAN:** Thank you for listening to the commentary to Documentary.

_{end transmission}_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't listen to my opinions on TMBG


	27. documentary: homsar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk

##  Short Stuff

That Rhinocerous is making the world a coke! Ahhhh!

 

##  Voices in my head

**Rhinocerous:** I'm more post-modern than you!
    
    
    Hey Grey!
    what's that yellow thing there? I bet my last buck on Seabiscuit's dog.
    Aaaaaahhhh!
    The Mushroom Man

**Rhino:** _{tickling the beige}_ No way, Hey-Zeus! Yellow dog is a smelly elderberry. I trip myself in the dark. Roll them away, Sam!

_{puts the play in Ahhhhhhhh! I call it, love.}_

**Goody God:** Baking soda and vingear is the place to be. All hail Ceaser, full of grace. Meanless plubum, you fools!

_{It's time for the Marshmallow Tango!}_

**Rhino:** Some animal played my drums today. Sign!

**Goody God:** I forgot, time for Giants!

_{throw yourself from the carosoal!}_

**Giants:** We won the Penant! Go Cub some seals! Pwshoo!

_{yellow thing comes of age}_

**Yellow Thing:** Meh meh meh!

_{Doctor Who rocks my world!}_

**Dr. Who:** I left my liver in San Fransisco!

_{Onions! Onions everywhere!}_

**Yellow Thing:** Meeeh meh meh!

**Dr. Who:** All you embelzment or belong to Gus.

_{All My Pudgy is a soap opera for vikings}_

**Hamstring** : I'll be Bach, fool! Stelllllla!

_{stop please, cruel sir, I have no legs!}_

**Reggie:** I'm on a road moving to Berlin. I hate Homsar. I just died.

_{part of this nuclear breakfast!}_

**Homsar:** Hello, my name is Roundell.

**Rhino:** More cowbells! Off with his turtlenecks!

**Homsar:** My acting career is now over.

_{Ought I autism? Nay, says the duck.}_

**Rhino:** I am the DSM-IV! Roll the dice for extra damage!

_{I brought Manhattan with my pinky}_

**Gouty McGout** : Happy happy joy joy!

_{does the bell need a bellmaster? only one!}_

**Techy:** I'm only -5 years old.

**Rhino:** Oops, no life left! _{dies}_

 

##  Hard Boiled Eggs

  * Toot toot!



##  More Babbling

  * Everything I say is a lie. Creatans are stupid! Ahhhhhhh!




	28. 3 1/2: Anime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Extra for [3\. anime](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7694896/chapters/17531563)

##  Summary

In honor of the Otakon, Hysterical Woman continues [Anime](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Anime).

##  Transcript

_{A white title screen. The following words appear in times new roman.}_
    
    
      **Adjective  Noun  Proper Noun**
    

_{Like a slot machine, the words roll until this appears on the screen}_
    
    
      **Dark  Loser  Sturongu Saduu**
    

_{Now the words are white on black. Sakura blossums float by and turn the font into a fancy gothic font. Opening music theme plays}_

**SINGER:** Baka baka deep despair, Neko neko everywhere...

_{Opening theme ends as soon as Ghastly sues me. Cut to Saint Bad in a dark room, talking to someone}_

**MYSTERIOUS STRANGER:** You are my servant and shall do everything I ask of you. You will serve me, even at the risk of death and dismemberment.

 **SAINT BAD:** Yeah, whatever. Now tell me your lunch order, weirdo.

 **MYSTERIOUS STRANGER:** Octopus tempura.

_{Cut to a tiny Tokyo apartment. Sturongu Saduu wakes up.}_

**STURONGU SADUU:** Oh no, I'm late for school!

_{Saduu throws his bedsheets and is suddenly dressed. We see a unopened box with the words "Magical Girlfriend" on the side. He runs out of the apartment he lives alone in for some reason carrying a piece of toast in his mouth. Cut to him walking fast along a futuristic street}_

**STURONGU SADUU:** How come we still don't have jetpacks?

_{Saduu bumps into a tough punk with tattoos and an electric collender on his head. He looks up to see a biker gang in front of him.}_

**STURONGU SADUU:** I'm so sorry, honorable one.

 **HEAD PUNK:** _{to other punk}_ Hey, check out this dork, Tetsuo.

 **OTHER PUNK:** Yeah, Kanada, let's show him how honorless we really are!

_{The gang advances on poor Saduu}_

**STURONGU SADUU:** _{chanting}_ Mustn't run away, mustn't run away...

_{A blue aura appears around Saduu. A butterfly flies to close and dies in a huge burst of blood.}_

**HEAD PUNK:** What the...

_{The blue aura engulfs the punks and they all burst in a incredible burst of blood. Blood pours down the streets}_

**STURONGU SADUU:** Dang, I commited a venial sin and I ruined my uniform. What a day.

_{Cut to Sturongu Saduu outside a classroom holding two buckets of cement. Saduu's sister walks by.}_

**SADUU'S SISTER:** Hello, Big Brother. How are you doing?

 **STURONGU SADUU:** My arms went numb a long time ago and I'm starting to get an endropine rush from the unbearable pain, so things are going great right now.

 **SADUU'S SISTER:** It's so good to see you, Big Brother. I wish our parents hadn't sent you away. I mean, they didn't even like the Tanaka's anyway.

 **STURONGU SADUU:** I think it was more the fact they needed to steam clean the carpet later.

_{Silence. Cherry blossums float by, despite the fact that they're indoors}_

**SADUU'S SISTER:** What the...

 **STURONGU SADUU:** While I'm euphoric from the pain, I like to ask if you would like to hold hands with me sometime later.

 **SADUU'S SISTER:** How dare you! _{she slaps him}_ How could you suggest such a perverted thing to your own sister.

 **STURONGU SADUU:** But you're only my step sister!

 **SADUU'S SISTER:** _{slaps him again}_ I love you! _{runs away crying. Close up shot of her tears}_

 **STURONGU SADUU:** Sadness is to lose. _{sighs}_

_{Time passes. Cut to later in the day, when Saduu opens his locker. He sees card with the following message}_
    
    
     To the Enraged: Meet me for a duel
    near that whatsit, that H-shaped building.
    P.S. Your sister's hot

 **STURONGU SADUU:** Mixed emotions. Violence is wrong!

 **RANDOM PERSON:** _{off-screen}_ You killed my aunt!

 **STURONGU SADUU:** Hey! I used the other side of the blade!

 **RANDOM PERSON:** Oh, that's cool.

_{Night. Saduu walks down the street. He sees his sister standing under a streetlight.}_

**STURONGU SADUU:** Little sister... _{Cherry blossums fill the scene}_

 **SADUU'S SISTER:** Cherry blossums in October?

_{Saduu walks over to his sister. They look at each other for a minute.}_

**SADUU'S SISTER:** _{slaps him}_ Don't get hurt!

 **STURONGU SADUU:** Itai itai!

_{They look at each other for a few more minutes, then Saduu leaves. Cut to Saint Bad and the Cheatel in a park near the h-shaped building. The Cheatel is a yellow winged demon with black spots}_

**SAINT BAD:** _{to Cheatel}_ What's wrong with both a cape and wings? I think it looks pretty pretty good.

 **THE CHEATEL:** _{demonic roar}_

 **SAINT BAD:** Wearing a cape over spikes was your idea!

_{Saduu enters, holding a map. He stands a few feet away from Saint Bad and the Cheatel.}_

**STURONGU SADUU:** Um, sorry I'm late. Some guy in a yellow bandana gave me terrible directions.

 **SAINT BAD:** _{pretensious}_ Oh, but you are not late. You are early, my dear friend. _{Cherry blossums fall}_ Hey, that's not right!


	29. 14 1/2: Late Night Double Feature Picture Show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Creepy opening line from Strong Sad

##  Summary

Strong Sad can't come that high.

**Cast(in order of appearance):** Strong Sad, Strong Bad, The Hyper-Intelligent Pan-Dimensional Teddy Bear(easter egg)

 

##  Transcript

_{Strong Sad is sitting at his computer typing}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{typing}_ "Not only did he discover they were all dead, he also realized to his horror that he'd have to _eat his way out_." _{sighs}_ This story's going nowhere.

**STRONG BAD:** _{off-screen}_ Hey, Susie Homemaker!

**STRONG SAD:** _{looking over}_ Ahh! _{falls off chair}_

_{pan to reveal Strong Bad by the door, dressed as Doctor Frank N. Furter}_

**STRONG BAD:** Got any black nailpolish?

**STRONG SAD:** _{getting back on chair}_ Why are you dressed like that?

**STRONG BAD:** Me and my posse are going to a midnight showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show, virgin!

**STRONG SAD:** Can I come? I can dress as Riff-Raff.

**STRONG BAD:** No! Senor Cardgage is going as Riff-Raff.

**STRONG SAD:** And Strong Mad?

**STRONG BAD:** Who you think?

**STRONG SAD:** You mean he's going as...?

**STRONG BAD:** The Man with No Neck.

**STRONG SAD:** Oh. I though he would be Rocky.

**STRONG BAD:** _{narrows eyes}_ That's sick, man. Well, see you never, sicko! _{leaves}_

**STRONG SAD:** I'm just like Cinderella...if Cinderella loved cult movies.

 

##  Easter Egg

  * Wait for this scene



    _{Strong Bad comes back in}_

     **STRONG BAD:** Um, do you have any black nailpolish?

     **STRONG SAD:** Top of the dresser, next to the hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional teddy bear.

     **STRONG BAD:** On second thought...no.

 

##  Fun Facts

###  Explanations

  * This whole email is full of references to the cult movie and musical "Rocky Horror Picture Show". People go dressed as the characters and say and do things at certain points. Newcomers are called "virgins".



 

###  Trivia

  * This is the third time Strong Sad has fallen out of his seat.
  * The Pan-Dimensional Teddy Bear refers to the email [naked?](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Naked%3F).



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And ten years later I lost my RHPS virginity.


	30. 17 1/2: The Love Strong of Strong F. Sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Extra for [17\. nothing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7694896/chapters/17532700)

##  Summary

Strong Sad tries to get over his lost love.

**Cast (in order of appearance):** Strong Sad

 

##  Transcript

_{Strong Sad sits on the floor with a guitar. The whole scene is shot in black and white with a cheap camera on a tripod}_

**STRONG SAD:** My therapist suggested I do this video. It's about a girl whose name I can't mention anymore due to legal reasons, but it starts with a B and I think it's a place in France. I prefer playing the Peruvian nose flute, but I don't think it would work for this song, so I decided to use an acoustic guitar. It's easy to play once you figure out how to do the twangy bit. Here we go.

_{Strong Sad starts playing slowly, in one chord. Doesn't matter which one}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{singing/speaking}_ Let us go out, you and I,  
When the night is laid out,  
Like a marshmallow upon the table.  
Oh B, why not the rest of the alphabet?  
You could only B be B  
You came rapping on my email door,  
Like a large carrion eating bird,  
Albicore, _{taps guitar}_ Baltimore.  
But you left like a magpie,  
Taking key portions of my heart.  
Yet as I wonder as heavy as a rock,  
I know I will never find a girl as lovely as you,  
You smelled like cheap cigarettes,  
But with a little jasmine  
If only I actually liked jasmine.  
And your hair...you weren't bald.  
But you had inner beauty.  
You were proud of...having arms.  
Who need girls that are nice to people?  
Or who bathe regularly?

_{Strong Sad stops playing}_

**STRONG SAD:** Wait, why am I moaning after her? She's horrible. She treated me terribly. Now I truly know the meaning of co-dependent.

_{phone rings offscreen. Strong Sad grabs it}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{into phone}_ Hello. Marzipan? Your septic tank broke? I'll be right there!

_{Strong Sad gets up and knocks over the camera as he leaves. Static}_

 

##  Easter Eggs

  * None, though this is the easter egg for [Nothing](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Nothing).



 

##  Fun Facts

 

###  Explanation

  * Nose flutes are played with the nose instead of the mouth. I'm not sure if Peru has its own nose flute though.
  * Strong Sad's song makes a few poetry references, but they are too pitiful to point out.



 

###  Trivia

  * This toon is a follow-up to [Love](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Love) and chronologically after [Nothing](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Nothing).
  * B refers to Brittany, who has not actually sued for libel.




	31. Preview

##  Strong Sad Email

**NARRATOR:** In a world...with internet acesses...

_{cut to Strong Sad at the computer}_

**NARRATOR:** One youngest brother checks his email. His name is...Strong Sad.

_{dramatic music. Clip from[saddy](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Saddy).}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{reading}_ Dear Strong Sad to the power of two, you are the best. The best what? The best failure? The best loser? I guess it's nice to be the best something.

_{Clip from[birthday](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Birthday)}_

**STRONG SAD:** I figured it out!

_{Strong Bad enters}_

**STRONG BAD:** What!?

 **STRONG SAD:** It's Oop You Bwoke It! That's their name!

 **STRONG BAD:** Oh, yeah, that. No secrets kept here!

_{dramatic music cresandos. Clip from[the longest email](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/The_longest_email)}_

**STRONG SAD:** This might be...the longest email.

_{from the snowstorm scene}_

**SAKYA THUKPA:** What a beautiful day. Don't see this much in Tibet.

 **STRONG SAD:** B-b-beautiful... _{passes out}_

_{Dramatic music gets on your nerves. Clip from[torture](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Torture)}_

**LAPPY:** SPUTTERSPARKCOOCOOKUCHOOIAMTHEWALRUS _{video from Full House}_

 **STRONG BAD:** NO! WHAT DID YOU DO TO LAPPY?

 **STRONG SAD:** I programed it to only show Full House now. That's what you get for making me talk like that!

_{Dramatic music etc. Clip from[anime](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Anime)}_

**STURUNGU SADUU:** You killed my father! Who I hate because he ran away from me to build giant robots!

_{Music slows down. Clip from[homestar](http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/wiki/Other_Character_Email_Strong_Sad/Homestar)}_

**STRONG SAD:** _{dejected}_ I'm going to visit the Tallahatchie Bridge.

 **HOMESTAR RUNNER:** Road trip!

_{Finale: Black screen with the Strong Sad Email logo}_

**NARRATOR:** Strong Sad Email: Slightly better than reading the dictionary. Updated whenever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks!


End file.
